This is about HALF of the script.
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SUMMARY
"Inside the 3-0-9" deals with the problems Sherry faces due to her weight. The cruel wounds from her childhood linger, causing her to disbelieve it when Troy wants to take her out for a bowl of Texas Chili. In the end, she realizes that Troy loves her for herself, the person inside the 309 pounds.
CHARACTERS
SHERRY ALEXANDER: 20’s, an average wonderful woman, neatly dressed, who may be played by an actress of average proprotion OR of a large, heavy frame.
TROY: A trucker who is older than Sherry, he is of average built and neatly dressed in plaid shirt and jeans.
CHARLIE: A small character who plays dodge ball, darting in and out around others, throwing an imaginary ball at Sherry as script indicates.
DOCTOR: Any age, wearing traditional white, s/he is a weight specialist.
LICENSE LADY: Any age, of large build. Obnoxious.
SALES CLERK: Any age, very petite and feminine.
VOICE: Announces weight.
TIME: The present.
SETTING: Mostly in the mind of Sherry and includes the Alexander Trucking office, the license bureau, and a fabric store.
PRODUCTION NOTES:
One choice for a set could be a giant white scale upstage on an otherwise bare stage. The scale could be a simple painted image or a box platform.
The director may experiment with having the minor characters repeat rhythmically, softly, the word “Obese” in places, the ever-present word in Sherry’s mind.
This is an esemble piece and where actors are not directly involved in a scene or speaking, they may be incorporated in other ways to keep the story fluid and stage pictures dynamic; i.e., when Sherry shops for fabric, one actor might pose as a manikin with the green fabric draped over her arm and body while another actors adjusts the fabric and the third actors acts as the clerk.
Pre-show music.
Characters solemnly file on stage, step up on a small platform, are weighed, turn and smile, and
take random positions on stage. These characters weave in and out of Sherry’s dialogue, shadows in her mind. The last person weighed is SHERRY. As she steps on the scale, we hear a voice:
VOICE
Three hundred and nine pounds.
SHERRY
(Stepping off scales, walking forward. She speaks in a stream-of-consciousness manner.)
This is the real me, just an average sort of girl with an average sort of life. I try to connect with that larger body—and I do—especially when I have a certain kind of need...like an extension for a safety belt on an airplane. But mainly, mainly I wonder why people don’t see me, the real me, the average girl with the average job, inside the body.
CHARLIE
(A school boy in her past choosing dodge ball team members)
Pick someone else! We don’t want her on our team!
SHERRY
I work in my father’s trucking office—The Alexander Line. Thank heavens he owns a business...
CHARLIE
She’s too big a target! I said we don’t want her!
SHERRY
...Companies don’t like to hire fat people.
CHARLIE
Let’s play dodge ball!
(He pantomimes hurling the ball at Sherry.)
DOCTOR
Do you even try to lose weight, Ms. Alexander?
SHERRY
(Jerking as if hit by the ball; then hugging herself)
That, that hurt. (Beat) I’m a very good secretary. Dad says it’s because I’m good with people. Those drivers can get pretty upset when things go wrong.
TROY
‘Scuse me, miss. Where do I pick up my routing slip?
SHERRY
Right over there, the blue slip.
TROY
Thanks. Didn’t see it. Thanks for your help.
SHERRY
Sure thing. (Beat, introspective) I’m good with people because I suppose I still want them to pick me for the team.
DOCTOR
Yes, but do you even try to lose? You have no physical problems. Why don’t you try the ‘Diet For Life’ system? It works, Sherry; it really does.
CHARLIE
Come on! Teacher said to get the mats down! Sherry can be the bottom of the pyramid!
SHERRY
Each doctor I try thinks he has the answer. I don’t think there is an answer.
TROY
Here’s the paperwork. (Struggling over whether or not to ask her out) ...Could you, could you please tell me where there’s a good place to eat nearby? I sure am hungry.
SHERRY
(Looking at paperwork for his name)
Sure..., Troy. Just north down the block and hang a left—you’ll see The Big Skillet sign. Great burgers, salads, real home-cooked meals, too. Whatever you’re in the mood for.
TROY
TROY
Sherry? Say, ah, I waited at The Big Skillet. I thought you might eat there regularly.
SHERRY
I usually do. Big booths, you know.
TROY
Oh,...sure. Maybe we could get a bite together the next time I come through.
SHERRY
If...you really want to. We’ll try the Texas Chili. The hotter it is, the better you burn!
TROY
Great. See ya.
SHERRY
Maybe it’s time I improve my wardrobe.
DOCTOR
I don’t understand. There doesn’t seem to be a thyroid problem. There’s really no reason at all why you can’t lose weight on this new diet.
BUREAU LADY
Why, I remember you from—down at the License Bureau—three hundred ‘n nine pounds! So glad you came with your friend to my Tupperware party. Maybe you could sit—over there on the piano bench so you won’t break down my furniture.
SHERRY
(Jerking, as though hit again by the dodge ball; then recovering)
I read the best novel the other day. It was about kids.
TROY
(Continuing background singing)
“The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping, I dreamed...”
SHERRY
They figured it was hit by a car.
TROY
“...I held you in my arms.... As I awoke...”
SHERRY
So they were trying to coax it out. Well, somebody came by and looked down the alley and though they were trying to break in.
TROY
“...dear, I was mistaken, and I hung my head, and cried...”
SHERRY
So naturally they called the police who didn’t believe the kids were just trying to get a cat out. They’d wedged the window open a little more to try to see in....because the cat had stopped howling, but the kids knew it was in there.
TROY
If you think I’m going to beg you to go eat Texas Chili with me you’re crazy!
SHERRY
The girl ended up cutting her hand and bleeding all over; and when the police came, the boy wanted to take all the blame because the cat was nowhere to be found and the police didn’t believe them and—
TROY
Would you please look at me and listen to what I’m saying! ...Will you please go eat Texas Chili with me at the Big Skillet?
SHERRY
(Beat) No.
TROY
No?
SHERRY
It…gives me gas.
TROY
Gas?
SHERRY
Gas.
TROY
You will not go out with me because of gas.
SHERRY
Yes.
TROY
That’s it. That’s it, Miss too-good-for-a-Trucker, who by the way is ‘not’ related to the big boss, but the boss is proud to call her his daughter! Well, let me tell you this, Miss Queen-of-the-Gas-Company! It’ll be a cold day in hell before I ever ask you to go eat Texas Chili with me again! Never. The next time you’re gonna have to ask ME!
SALES CLERK
Are you sure you measured correctly for this pattern?
SHERRY
(Bending from being hit by the ball. Threateningly)
Look, lady, I have to adjust the pattern. I’m a very big person, or isn’t your eyesight any good? Now give me that material before I take it away from you and stuff it down your throat! (Beat, looking up) God, forgive me for that one but I enjoyed it.
DOCTOR
Sherry, your next appointment is on Tuesday.
SHERRY
What’s the point? You haven’t found anything wrong, and I eat exactly what you say. The food that I eat is my medicine: “Take one half a small apple and eight ounces of skim milk followed by one half hour of brisk walking.”
DOCTOR
If you ever need surgery, it simply wouldn’t be safe. I’ll see you on Tuesday.
SHERRY
Momma? What should I do? My life is good, really good, in spite of all the jerks in the world, but...I need a friend, a very best friend...and I’m scared.
TROY
(Coldly) Here’s my blue slip.
SHERRY
I can’t call him; I just can’t.
TRUCKER
See you’re still fat, ‘Ma Sherrr-ie!’ Ha-haaaa!
TROY
(Extending the slip)
My blue slip.
SHERRY
I can’t call him!
TROY
It’ll be a cold day in hell before I’ll ever—
SHERRY
—Momma, I’m so scared. (Momma is deceased. She may look up, at a photo, a locket, etc.)
TROY
The next time you’re gonna have to ask me!
SHERRY
Momma, I wish you could you help me sew a dress. I bought this really pretty green material...
He doesn’t even use crude language. I don’t know why he’d look twice at me. ...Maybe he just wants to have sex.
TROY
(Singing angrily) “...I dreamed I held you in my arms...When I awoke, dear, I was mistaken, and I hung...my head...and cried...” (Beat) Here’s my slip.
SHERRY
(Dialing number. Clearing throat)
Troy. (Clearing throat again)
TROY
Yes.
SHERRY
Would you, would you be hungry for some good Texas chili at The Big Skillet?
SHERRY
Do you really want to go out with me?
TROY
I’m hoping we can be ... friends.
SHERRY
But I’m so—
TROY
—wonderful. I fell in love with you the first time I heard your voice and saw you smile.
SHERRY
But how can anyone—
TROY
—Shhh. If I can win you, Sherry, it’d be like Christmas every day of the year.
SHERRY
(TO audience)
I still don’t know how it happened...maybe it was Fate, but Troy found me, me, just an average girl...inside the three-o-nine.
TROY
(He kisses her. Taking her hand, walking down center, smiling, talking intimately)
Come on, Sunshine.
Post-show music: “You
Are My Sunshine.”
CURTAIN