Easy Plays for Little Kids

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For longer, more complicated scripts, for older actors, CLICK!
www. TheaterFunScripts.com
- Witty Energetic Scripts - Free & Low Cost!
All Types, All Ages -- All Great!

-Harry Potter and the Obnoxious Voice ~ The sssPOOF!
-The Wonderful Wizard of Oz
-The Frog Prince and the Princess Brat, including a Jr. version
-Slipperzzzz! The Torrid Tale of Cobb and the 12 Dancing Princesses
-Alice in Wonderland
-Who Framed Lucky the Leprechaun?
-Don't Look in the Lake!
-It’s a GOOD Life, by Jerome Bixby, scifi award winner
-The Spoiled Baloney Man
-Hansel and Gretel and the Creepy Woods
-A Christmas Carol . . . . . and Dozens More plus all of the above and Links!

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EASY SCRIPTS FOR LITTLE KIDS!

Hansel and Gretel and the Creepy Woods <--Click for script
by Jeannette Jaquish
CAST: Three size Cast Versions: 15, 20 & 25: The Reader who should be an adult or old enough to know how to subtly take charge and ad lib.
EMAIL to ask for the FREE script. The one on this website is the shorter version, and is not the most updated, best version.
Every actor has good lines.
LENGTH: About 25 minutes.
FREE
This play is made easier for the young actors because the Reader telling the story prompts the actors where to go, what to do, and when to say their lines.
If a child forgets their line, the Reader should have the sense to continue on as if it is in the script, for example:
READER (ad libbing): The 1st Little Elf looked deep into the cubboard and said, 'There's spider legs..." (until the actor picks up the line and continues.)

I performed this with a class of private schooled kindergarteners, age 5 and 6, and it went very well.
There is a Christmas version of this at the Christmas link on the FunAntics home page.



The Way I Remember It. <--Click for script
by Jeannette Jaquish
The grandchild gets Grandpa and Grandma to tell how they met, resulting in two hilariously different versions of their childhood story about misbehavior, teasing, dog tricks, and first love.
Grandma and Grandpa as adults can help prompt child actors who forget their lines, as they narrate their story (with a script hidden in their newspaper and magazine).
Children's lines are simple, fun and follow a pattern.
CAST: 11 children age 6 and up, 2 adults (Grandpa and Grandma), 2 or 3 teen or adult helpers (one to play "Mom" who carries in a cake).
LENGTH: About 20 minutes.
FREE



Little Orphant Annie <-- Click for script
by James Whitcomb Riley
stage directions created by Jeannette Jaquish

-- This is not the Daddy Warbucks story! This is an original classic poem about the orphan girl who becomes a servant girl in the family who takes her in, and tells spooky stories to the other kids to scare them into behaving.
FREE
LENGTH: About 6 minutes.
CAST: a mix of young actors and older.
Need:
4 younger children who recite 4 lines of medium difficulty rhyme
2 younger children who do physical acting with no lines
1 really skilled older girl who recites a medium length poem (Annie)
3 to 5 adults or older kids to play adults with no lines but important acting.



"SNAFU in Santa's Workshop" and other Christmas Plays <-- Click for script
by Jeannette Jaquish
LOW COST
LENGTH: About 18 minutes.
CAST: 9 to 12 kids and 4 adults; can add more.



The Frog Prince and the Princess Brats, Jr. <-- Click for script
by Jeannette Jaquish
LOW COST
LENGTH: About 15 to 20 minutes.
CAST: 13 to 22 actors.
--A very funny, action-packed simplified version of the classic story with three princesses & three frogs.



NEW! The Damsel Game
<--Click for Excerpts!

by Jeannette Jaquish
A NEW VERY EASY short fairy tale script farce of "The Dating Game" from the 1970's.
~ * ~
Prince Charming tosses questions to Cinderella, Snow White and Rapunzel to pick his Dream Date . . . . Nightmare!

<--Image by Mauricio Eiji Yamashita

COST: 1st performance: $10; -- additional performances: $5 each; or 1 year: $30.
LENGTH: About 13 minutes.
CAST: 5: Show Host (with script), Prince, Cinderella, Snow White, Rapunzel.

EXCERPT:
HOST: This capable girl can set the table and cook up a meal for 7 hungry mouths plus herself! She has known a lot of very short men and would love to date a fellow she can look up to. You know her name, she is . . . . (give audience a chance to holler the answer) . . Snow White! Have a seat, Snow White! Our Damsel Number One!

(SNOW WHITE sits on stool and pets her bird, smiling sweetly.)

HOST - Our 2nd Dazzling Damsel -- Come on out! This lovely lady loves to dance, especially ballroom dancing...
(CINDERELLA ENTERS and dances in swirls)
Look at that grace and elegance! Her house is spotless because she loves scrubbing and cleaning!

CINDERELLA (stops dancing) - No I don’t! I hate scrubbing and cleaning! They always make me do it! (dances)

HOST - Um, . . . And she is known throughout the land as having the smallest most dainty feet . . . Let’s see those dainty feet, my dear. . .

(CINDERELLA holds up a foot, hopping.)

HOST - A bit of artistic license there by the Brothers Grimm . . . . . ~ * ~ Click to ORDER A SCRIPT!


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Little Red Riding Hood and the Bad Idea Shortcut
a simple scripted folktale adapted by Jeannette Jaquish

<--Image by Gustave Dore' (1832 - 1883)

<--Click on Wolf and Red for EXCERPTS & DETAILS!
CAST: 5
LENGTH: About 15 minutes.
PRICE: $5 first performance, $2 additional, $10 for 1 year.

Not only does the Wolf get a surprise from Little Red, so does the Narrator and the Woodsman!

Lines are easy, catchy and funny. Many absurd moments bring new life to an old favorite.
The Narrator prompts many lines and actions, and can rescue when a line is forgotten.


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Snow White and the Eco-Disaster Dwarves
a funny fairytale with an environmental message, by Jeannette Jaquish

Click on Apple for Free Script!-->

CAST: 4, Snow White and Three Odd Dwarves
LENGTH: About 5 minutes.
PRICE: FREE if you tell the playwright.

A catchy easy to learn short play about abusing the forest.
For all ages to watch. Actors age 7 on up.
Excerpt:
DIGGER - I'm Digger.
DUMPER - I'm Dumper.
CHOPPER - I'm Chopper Downer.

SNOW WHITE - Those are funny names. I thought you'd be named Bashful or Happy or Sneezy.

DIGGER - Oh, they moved out long ago.
DUMPER - Yeah, when the forest was still green.
CHOPPER - They left some nice furniture.

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* * *To see a PERUSAL SCRIPT, please contact Jeannette Jaquish
at (260) 484-5946, between 7am and 10pm, Eastern Standard Time, USA,
or at http://www.theaterfunscripts.com/details.html.
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Jeannette Jaquish would appreciate it if you would
Donate $1 to FunAntics at this link:
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Kindergarten Scripts Webpage created January 13, 2006.

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ALL the www.theaterFUNscripts.com SCRIPTS!
for All Ages, Schools, Home Schools, Community Theaters and Professional Stages!
How to Contact the Author ........ or directly to your email:
Hi! I am Jeannette Jaquish, playwright, [ formerly from Yuma and Tucson, AZ, now in Fort Wayne, IN ]. I write witty scripts with great lines for every actor. Low priced so you can make a profit! Contact me for a Free Perusal, or a custom theater script - Playwright for Hire!

HOW THIS WEBSITE WORKS:
1. Scroll down this list of scripts. Click on "Excerpts" or "Video Clips".
2. Contact the playwright if you have questions or need a script adapted.
3. Click on "Order Me", follow the instructions, choose "Mail a check" or "PayPal" to pay.
4. PayPal will ask your credit card info and process your order.
5. Within 8 hours or the next morning by 9am EST I will email you your script. Telephone me to get it sooner.

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ALL THE SCRIPTS
Click to see: Scripts categorized by Cast Size, Length, Difficulty or Genre + Free Monologue & Audition Scenes! ~ *OR* ~ Video Clips!

Please SHARE!

NEW MUSICAL!
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz
"And I won't be dumb and dumber, After writing every number, If I only had a brain!"
From the classic original story by L. Frank Baum,
comes a delightful new musical adapted for stage by Jeannette Jaquish
<-- Click for Excerpts, Tech, Photos, Music & Info!
COST: 1st performance: $30; Additional: $15 each; up to $90 for a year.
3-CD Music Set (Act 1, Act 2, Rehearsal): $33
CAST: 20 to 32+
TECH: Medium-Difficult
LENGTH: 2 hours 10 minutes. Shorter version & shorter songs available.
Author's Note: This play is a $$Money-Maker. Of all my scripts, this one brings in the largest audience. But it is a lot of work.

EXCERPT (At end of "Monkey Brats" song, all pose.)
MONKEY # 4 (entering) - Wicked Witch! Wicked Witch! I have news!
WITCH - What is it ?
MONKEY # 4 (sassy) - Three guesses!
WITCH - Three guesses how I'll cook your carcass if you don't tell me!
MONKEY #4 - Eeek! Dorothy and her friends are climbing the mountain!
WITCH - What!? They are coming here!
MONKEY #4 - Yes! Yes! Yes! Do I get a cookie?
OTHER MONKEYS - (gasp in shock at this dangerous request)
WITCH - (with insane calm exhilaration) Yessss. You do get a cookie. (Gives cookie)
MONKEY # 4 - Eee eee eee ee ! (gobbles it)
OTHER MONKEYS (leaping about) - I wanna cookie! ~ * ~ More Excerpts. ~ * ~ ORDER a script! ~ * ~ "Video Clips"


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NEW MUSICAL!
~ Slipperzzzz! ~ Cobb and the Twelve Dancing Princesses
<--Click for Excerpts!

by Jeannette Jaquish
~ Girls and boys will love this action-packed fighting-dancing musical comedy romance (with no kissing)! -- Great for a Theater Dance School!

<--image by Morena Forza at www.morenaforza.com
<-- Poster with your theater name inserted, plus date, time, price, location etc.

COST: 1st performance: $30; -- additional performances: $15 each; or 1 year: $90.
MUSIC CD: $20
TECH: Simple furniture, lighting, props, and sets. Tech notes & stage drawings.
LENGTH: About 70 minutes.
CAST: 22 to 32 actor-dancer-singers, with lots of fun character parts besides the princesses.
EXCERPT:
OLD SHOEMAKER - It’s impossible! Beyond the bounds of reason! The idea that one cobbler can make 12 new pairs of shoes a day is preposterous!!! And mathematically unsound!
12 girls times 2 feets equals 24 shoes! 24 shoes times 7 days is ....um... 168 new shoes a week!

GRAND VIZIER - Silence! Arggh!! You know how I abhor mathematics! It’s all sciencey! It’s like a dagger exploding in my skull!
Soon I will have the King decree that all who talk of math and science will have their thumbs boiled off by four horses!
Now, get back to work! The Princesses need MORE SHOES!

OLD SHOEMAKER - Then send them to the blacksmith for iron shoes, because I QUIT! (EXITS)

GRAND VIZIER - Actually, that is not a bad idea... See Excerpts! ~ * ~ ORDER a script! ~*~ "Video Clips"


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MUSICAL House Elf Scene!
Harry Potter and the Obnoxious Voice - The ssssPOOF!
--- "Dobby will pour red ants in his ears for punishment!"
<--Click for EXCERPTS, PHOTOS and TECH!

a mystery spoof theater script by J.R. Jaquish
based on the Harry Potter book series by J.K. Rowling and the movies based on her books.


COST: 1st performance: $30; additional: $10 each; or 1 year: $70.
MUSIC CD: $23 - Great licensed music -- NOT the movie soundtrack
TECH: Medium-simple. Ordinary furniture, simple lighting, props, costumes, sets. Tech notes.
POSTER included, ready for you to fill in information.
LENGTH: 32 min./ 45 min./ 65 min. / 75 min. due to optional scenes and characters. You get all versions.
CAST: 9 to 26 actors

Watch Video Clips!
Order Me!
"I printed out the script and I couldn’t stop laughing. I am going to have too much fun doing this show! You have been much more helpful than any other play company I have ever worked with. By the way- working in the Puppet Pals reference was brilliant and I can already see the Time Clock Life number in my head. Thanks again!"
-- Laura Comito, Artworks Studio, 507 N. Main St., Carroll, Iowa www.carrollarts.org
EXCERPTS:
DUMBLEDORE - (ENTERS singing) Dumbledore, Dumbledore, Dumble Dee Dumbledore! Gooood day, Draco! I'll have a peppermint latte and a fresh ram's bladder stuffed with curded cheese and drizzled with Belgian chocolate.
DRACO MALFOY - You'll pay for that, Dumbledore! $7 sickles and 3 knuts!
HERMIONE - What's wrong, Harry? Has Dumbledore changed as well?
(DUMBLEDORE searches his robe pockets, hat, inside his shoes, then lifts his robe to search his boxer shorts, sticking his hand down the pantleg and screaming when it comes out the other end.)
DUMBLEDORE - Oh, dear, I do believe I've misplaced my meal ticket!
MALFOY - No meal ticket - No meal!
HARRY No, Dumbledore's the same as ever.
RON (biting sandwich) Yuck! Harry's right! Things have changed!
HERMIONE What! What's changed?
RON This is surplus government cheese!
HERMIONE Oh, Ron. That's not important!
RON I can't get it off my molars! Three sickles for a government cheese sandwich. Bloody ripoff!
---
PEEVES Twisted vicious little house elf! You has messed with my miasma! Just kill me!"
DOBBY and WINKY - You're already dead!

Click for MORE Excerpts, plus links to Photos and Tech Notes. ~ * ~ ORDER A SCRIPT!


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NEW! The Damsel Game
<--Click for Excerpts!

by Jeannette Jaquish
A NEW VERY EASY short fairy tale script farce of "The Dating Game" from the 1970's.
~ * ~
Prince Charming tosses questions to Cinderella, Snow White and Rapunzel to pick his Dream Date . . . . Nightmare!

<--Image by Mauricio Eiji Yamashita

COST: 1st performance: $10; -- additional performances: $5 each; or 1 year: $30.
LENGTH: About 13 minutes.
CAST: 5: Show Host (with script), Prince, Cinderella, Snow White, Rapunzel.

EXCERPT:
HOST: This capable girl can set the table and cook up a meal for 7 hungry mouths plus herself! She has known a lot of very short men and would love to date a fellow she can look up to. You know her name, she is . . . . (give audience a chance to holler the answer) . . Snow White! Have a seat, Snow White! Our Damsel Number One!

(SNOW WHITE sits on stool and pets her bird, smiling sweetly.)

HOST - Our 2nd Dazzling Damsel -- Come on out! This lovely lady loves to dance, especially ballroom dancing...
(CINDERELLA ENTERS and dances in swirls)
Look at that grace and elegance! Her house is spotless because she loves scrubbing and cleaning!

CINDERELLA (stops dancing) - No I don’t! I hate scrubbing and cleaning! They always make me do it! (dances)

HOST - Um, . . . And she is known throughout the land as having the smallest most dainty feet . . . Let’s see those dainty feet, my dear. . .

(CINDERELLA holds up a foot, hopping.)

HOST - A bit of artistic license there by the Brothers Grimm . . . . . ~ * ~ Click to ORDER A SCRIPT!


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It's a GOOD Life, by Jerome Bixby
---"They were thinking about making a trap for me. That's why I made them catch on fire."
<-- CLICK on the omnipotent child for EXCERPTS and INFO

- a suspense-filled stageplay based on the award winning 1953 story by Jerome Bixby*, famous science fiction author
- adapted for “The Twilight Zone” by Rod Serling 1961
- produced by Stephen Spielberg in “Twilight Zone: The Movie”, 1983
- spoofed in “The Simpson’s Treehouse of Horror II”, 1991
- Science fiction theater adapted for stage by Jeannette Jaquish; (c) 2008, 2010 Jeannette Jaquish

CLICK to ORDER!

LENGTH: approximately 55 minutes
CAST: 10 adults, 1 small child age 5-6, and 2 teens: boy and girl.
TECH: Easy to get old props, costumes and furniture. 1 set. Simple lighting.
SET: One set: Porch downstage and Kitchen-Parlor upstage
COST: Royalty: $30-first performance, $15-additional performances, $90 for one year.
DVD of the disturbing scenes Anthony makes on television: $6, to play during birthday party scene.

EXCERPTS:
HANK - Henry Jr.'s got something for you, Dan.
HENRY JR - Here, Mr. Hollis. Just a little something. (Hands Dan a hand decorated envelope. Dan opens it curiously and pulls out a short pencil.)
DAN: (thrilled) - A pencil! Oh, you wonderful boy! Look! It has a quarter inch of eraser left. Look everybody! (They are amazed.) A pencil. It's at least 4 inches long. (tests it) And it works!
ETHEL - Don't waste it darling.
HENRY JR. - I found it inside the Wallace's couch.
DAN - And you gave it to me, you wonderful boy! (Everyone ooohs and ahhhs. Pencils were used up long ago.)
THELMA (aside to someone) - He must have gotten to their couch before I did.

*Among a long list of writings, Jerome Bixby wrote scripts for three Star Trek episodes, co-wrote the story that Fantastic Voyage was based upon, and dictated "The Man From Earth" on his deathbed to his son Emerson, in 1998. The Star Trek: Deep Space Nine- Mirror Universe Episode "The Emperor's New Cloak", 1999, was dedicated to Bixby's memory.
Click for excerpts!


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Teach children to speak up!
Dissolve the fear of public speaking by getting them onstage.
This world needs brave people who will not be quiet when truth needs to be said.

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When they took the 4th Amendment, I was quiet because I didn't deal drugs.
When they took the 6th Amendment, I was quiet because I am innocent.
When they took the 2nd Amendment, I was quiet because I don't own a gun.
Now they have taken the 1st Amendment, and I can only be quiet. --
Lyle Myhr


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TWO VERSIONS OF THE "FROG PRINCE":
MUSICAL VERSION #1:

Wartsalot! -- The Frog Prince and the Princess Brat
"Taste fangs of death, Scoundrel Frog!" -- Cupcake, the Princess's pet
<--Click for excerpts!
-->Video clip!

A fractured fairy tale children's theater script!
PLUS Music CD!
adapted for stage by Jeannette Jaquish

VERSION #1: The Frog Prince and the Princess Brat
Actors: 6 to 14
depending on short, medium or long version.
LENGTH: 20, 50 or 75 minutes. 4, 5 or 7 scenes. Medium tech complexity.
COST: 1st performance: $20; additional: $10 each; or 1 year: $60.
Music CD: $23

Order a Script!

EXCERPTS:
PRINCESS CONCEITA: A prince?? Not likely, talking like that. If you were ever a human you held out a beggar's hat."
FROG: "I teased a frail old woman, begging on the road. I kicked her cane to make her fall and Poof!--I was a toad."
~*~
QUEEN: So polish the armor, and the gargoyles need clothes!
The peasants are revolting, or so I'm told by my nose.
And the moat monster needs grooming - He's got bones stuck in his teeth!
Put him on a vegetarian diet. We're using too much beef!
Click for excerpts.


NOT a Musical! -- VERSION #2: Simplified, More Actors & Flexible Casting
The Frog Prince and the Princess Brats, JR <-- Click for Excerpts!
an easy children's fairy tale play by Jeannette Jaquish
COST: $10 first performance, $5 additional, or $30/year.
Order Me!

This script follows the basic fairy tale but has lots of funny exchanges between the Princesses and their mother the Queen and the obnoxious Frogs. Also some long-suffering servants and snoopy Townsfolk. Narrators can prompt actors when they forget a line. And it RHYMES!!!

THREE LENGTHS: 20, 24 or 25 minutes - You get all three.
THREE CAST SIZES: 14 or 15 actors, 19 or 20 actors, or 21 or 22 actors, age 7 and up.
3 Princesses (so less crying after auditions), 3 or 4 Frog-puppets, a Queen, an optional King, 1, 2 or 3 Narrators, 3, 4 or 5 Townsfolk, and 3 or 4 Servants, and a Boy Prince who can be played by a Frog puppeteer.
~ * ~ Click to ORDER A SCRIPT!


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If you find BROKEN LINKS
or problems with this website, or have a a question,
please Contact Me! . . . . . . . . . .

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3 FREE SCENE BOOKS!
<-- Click to see List of Scenes for All Three Books!

In 3 age groups:
~ Age 6 to 8 .~*~. Age 8 to 13 .~*~. Age 13 and older ~

Kids love to read scenes and put on little performances.
Great for teachers, camp leaders and home schoolers!
No charge for the download, copying, distributing or performing!

<--Click on image to get the PDF files FREE.

Or ORDER for Christmas or Birthday!
A Talking Frogs CD Collection makes a GREAT Gift!!
For teachers, activity leaders, scoutmasters, homeschoolers and parents.
ORDER All 3 "Talking Frogs" Scene Books
on pdf files on one CD ready to print out.
PRICE: $10 each CD in a case; add $3 for gift-wrapped with a note.
POSTAGE to the US included and mailed by next day.
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Dr. Frankenstreudel's Lemon Fresh Laboratory of Horrors
"Sometimes I feel like saying, "Fetch your own clotting factor!" -- Misty, the sickly lab rat
<--Click for excerpts!

an absurd thriller science themed stageplay by Jeannette Jaquish
COST: 1st performance: $20; Additional: $10 each; or 1 year : $60.
ORDER Me!


SUMMARY: Four squabbling urchins escape a mad doctor, a Julia Child / Frankenstein monster, a sickly lab rat and ravenous zombies. Educational, witty and absurd with lots of action.
CAST: 2 boys, 2 girls, 4 or 7 adults or big kids

LENGTH: 55 minutes. 5 scenes. Medium tech complexity. At least a 3 1/2 foot high platform for graveyard scene.
FREE: Scene 1

QUOTES: "Those little wretches ruined my best spoons prying the bars of their cages!" -- Eyegore
"They may be mindless, flesh-eating zombies, but they are still your elders." -- Old Man Wellard
Click for excerpts.

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Auditioning a Ghost, by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
"I need moonlight to be effective." -- the Jilted Bride Ghost
<--Click on images for first scene and excerpts!
(from the Sir Arthur Conan Doyle story, "Selecting a Ghost")

a ghostly thriller adapted for stage by Jeannette Jaquish
Makes a great dinner theater mystery script!

(Be careful what you wish for. Hauntings are forever.)

COST: 1st performance: $30; addtl: $10 each; 1 year: $70.
ACTORS: 10, at least 3 females, at least 3 males
LENGTH: 1 hour 15 minutes +.
TECH: Medium. Move furniture for set change. Ghostly lighting.
See Video Clip
Order Me!

Arthur Conan Doyle wrote this in his earlier years, before his Sherlock Holmes series eclipsed his other excellent works. It has an ingenious situation as a husband/father seeks to give his wife/daughter the haunting she wants by hiring a "fake" gypsy medium. A stiff-upper-lipped English butler and plotting Cook enhance a devious plot with many unexpected twists.
You receive two variations, one with wife as lead, one with daughter as lead.
FREE: Scene 1

QUOTES: "I'm ashamed to host even a tea party with no story to tell. A real castle should have a ghost." -- Gladys, spoiled daughter or wife.
"And I thought we plunked your inheritance in to this drafty old castle for the prestige of a wall-size fireplace over which to hang our mail order coat of arms. You should have told me you wanted a ghost. We could have bought an RV and parked it over a few plots in the cemetery." -- Monty, the father
More excerpts.


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Don't Look in the Lake
"... while the losers have to clean the portapotty with their pillowcases!"
a comedy thriller short play for children by Jeannette Jaquish
Click on the campers for EXCERPTS.


COST: $10 first performance, $5 additional, or $30/year.
PROPS: 2 clipboards, bin of recyclables, fake campfire, 2 balloons, broom, mop, backpacks, suitcases. Table & 4 or 7 chairs.
TECH: Quick but simple set changes. Need lighting for night scene.
LENGTH:
- Short version: 7 or 8 characters: about 20 minutes.
- Long version: 11 characters: about 24 minutes
- Less Scary Version: 12 characters: about 25 minutes
Order Me!

A spooky, dangerous, absurd little gem of life at camp. Lousy food, creepy counselors, dead possum art projects, electric fences and hoeing the tobacco fields. And just when the week is almost over, the campfire stories start coming true.

The kids LOVED the scripts!!"
-------Diana Oswald, Event Coordinator www.OnceinaLifetimeEvents.biz


EXCERPT
RICKY - I tried using the pay phone to call home. It wants 40 Canadian quarters!
PENNY - I saw a trash can full of campers' letters to home. I read some of them. Do you know that last week they had to dissect a possum for arts and crafts?
ANDREW - That sounds very educational!
RICKY - We've got to escape. (to Penny) Do you want to go with me?
PENNY - We could sneak out after lights out!
ANDREW - Are you out of your mind? Didn't you hear the story about Drowned Debbie? She'll crawl out of the lake and drag you back in!
Click for excerpts.


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Advice for New Directors and Directing Children

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You Don't Bring Me Dead Flowers Anymore
or
Marriage Counseling? Over My Un-Dead Body!!!

<--Click on dead flowers for Excerpts!

a psychoanalysis spoof by Jeannette Jaquish

COST: $10 first performance,
$5 additional,
or $30/year.

Order Me!

DESCRIPTION: Neither the therapist or the at-her-wits-end-wife realize that the husband's recent crude, grabby and drooling behavior is because he has been bitten on a camping trip and turned into a zombie.
I have seen audience members laugh until they cried as the husband flops and lurches around the stage trying to get his teeth on his wife's head, as the wife shoves him away using her chair and feet, and the therapist explaining everything as psychoanalytical mumbo-jumbo. Very funny twist ending using audience shills. Slightly PG, but easily edited out.

CAST: 2 couples and the therapist: male or female.
TECH NEEDS: 3 sturdy chairs, therapist can have a cheat sheet on a clipboard
LENGTH: a short play about 10 minutes
------
EXCERPTS:
WIFE: Can we talk about my husband's increasingly agressive behavior? Like last week, when we were in K-mart, he tried to get my whole scalp in his head! I had to hit him with a can of paint to make him stop. And then I had slobber all over my hair. I had to go to the toilet paper aisle and open a roll of paper towels to wipe off my head. People were looking!
THERAPIST: Ralph, your public display of affection is embarrassing your wife. Can you hear the humiliation in her voice?
RALPH: I sorry...
WIFE (sarcastically): Oh. More words. Big improvement.
THERAPIST: Yes, it is a big improvement. Thank you, Stephanie. Even a counselor appreciates a compliment now and then.
Click for excerpts.



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Lost Hearts, by Montague Rhodes James (1862-1936)
"Don't the trees look like claws grabbing at the sky?"
<--Click on spooky scene for Excerpts!

a classic ghost story by a famous author adapted for stage by Jeannette Jaquish

COST: $10 first performance, $5 additional, or $30/year.
Order Me!

DESCRIPTION: A suspenseful ghost story by M.R. James, a respected author of the 1800's.
In "Lost Hearts", an orphan, Stephen, is unexpectedly sent for by his elderly, rich, eccentric cousin who is unusually interested in his age, and is an expert on ancient religions' teachings on immortality. Stephen hears of two other orphans taken in who disappeared one night leaving behind shoes or favorite toys. He is visited by two young murdered ghosts. As Mr. Abney arranges for Stephen to meet him secretly after hours on the vernal equinox, an evil plot is revealed. Clues to decipher. Happy ending.

CAST: Stephen, Mrs. Bunch, Mr. Parkes, Mr. Abney & child ghosts: Jevanny & Phoebe.
LENGTH: About 55 minutes.
TECH NEEDS: furniture re-arranging set changes, need a fake fireplace, chairs, table, desk, bed with bedding, and the ability to run fishing line through a pulley in the ceiling for ghostly special effects.

EXCERPT:
STEPHEN (stands) It was the girl I saw in my dream. She was still standing like this (arms crossed over heart) and a boy, very skinny; his hands were up like this. And ... he had a hole here, over his heart. He scared me.
MR ABNEY Ah, sad lost souls. They'll wander on and find a resting place somewhere else, I expect.
STEPHEN How do you suppose they died? How did the boy get the hole in his heart?
MR ABNEY No idea.
STEPHEN Aren't you going to tell me to not tell Mrs. Bunch?
MR ABNEY (soft chuckle) I'll leave that up to you, my boy. Stephen, I want to tell you that I have thoroughly enjoyed your stay here. You have been a bright, cheerful, engaging companion --
STEPHEN Are you sending me away???
MR ABNEY No, no, of course not.
STEPHEN You said I "have been".
MR ABNEY And so you have been and so you will be. I propose a toast! (THEY BOTH stand. MR ABNEY hands STEPHEN a champagne glass of liquid and takes the other for himself) Don't worry, it's not alcoholic. To you Stephen! And our future together!
STEPHEN To you Mr. Abney! May you live forever!
(MR ABNEY bursts out laughing. They click glasses and drink. Mr. Abney now observes Stephen closely.)
STEPHEN What's so funny, Mr. Abney? ( pause) Sir?
(Mr. Abney does not answer but continues to look. Stephen is puzzled by his lack of answer and then the sedative takes effect. His face slackens and his knees buckle. Mr. Abney reaches forward and smoothly plucks the glass from Stephen's hand before it spills. STEPHEN crumples to the floor. )

More excerpts.
Do not fear! It has a Happy Ending!


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WHAT DO YOU NEED in a SCRIPT? - We will email a suggestion.

What sort of script or story?
How many actors and what ages?
Do you want simple, medium tech or can you handle complex productions?
Other considerations?
What is your email address so we can answer you? We do not release email addresses to anyone.
Or check out this List of scripts by CAST SIZE, THEATER TYPE, DIFFICULTY, GENRE, AGE
-- and FREE MONOLOGUE and AUDITION SCENES.

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Alice in Wonderland, by Lewis Carroll
"She doesn't chop off anyone's head! It's the rest of you who do it for her!" -- Alice's rallying cry to the Queen's subjects
<-- Click on tea party for excerpts!
Classic story theater script adapted for stage by Jeannette Jaquish

ACTORS: 23 to 40 all ages.
LENGTH: 2 hours but never boring.
TECH: Medium complexity. Simple sets. Falling down the Rabbit Hole & Hallway of Doors and Pool of Tears involve some manipulation.
COST: 1st performance: $30; Additional: $15 each; $90 for a year of unlimited performances.
MUSIC CD: $23

ORDER Me!
"I recently ordered Alice in Wonderland from you and I would like to say it's fantastic and going great. As this was the first thing I have ever directed, I was surprised by how easy the script made it for me. I'm glad to hear that I can film it."
--- Abi Harris, performance March 2011, Trinity Theatre, Cowes, Isle of Wight, England ~ * ~ Click to read the glowing theater review in the Isle of Wight County Press!
Photos of Adams College in Colorado's production of this script
~ * ~
Alice grows until her head, arms and legs stick out
the chimney and windows of the White Rabbit's House in this photo
from the Firehouse Theater in Fort Wayne, Indiana. -->


QUOTES:
"I stink, therefore I am" -- Duchess
"Either you, or your head, must be off!" -- Queen
"The beach is here. Wish you were lovely." -- Mad Hatter's post card
~ * ~
This is the best stage adaptation of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland that you are going to find.
Main stage scenes alternate with shorter scenes in front of the closed curtain to allow set changes behind curtain.
Ingenious low tech special effects allow Alice to grow and shrink.
Alice is played by three actresses: small, medium and tall (we used age 7, 11 & 16 for example) with a size-changing experience between each. At a performance directed by the author, a young child in the audience upon seeing all three Alices onstage for the first time during bows, was overheard saying, "Look, Mom, there's three of them!"
Each actor can play multiple parts, except the Alices and the White Rabbit, making your cast size flexible.
Click for EXCERPTS!

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RENTAL COSTUMES
--Charlie Brown shows
--Alice in Wonderland costumes
--Wizard of Oz: Dorothy, Lion, Flying Monkey shirts
--Harry Potter: House Elf noses on glasses + ears
--All kinds of costumes for the shows you see here.
--If you have a costume need - Ask!

Contact This Website! . . . . . . . . . .
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"Witches, Goblins, Ghosts and Ghoulies"
Song and sheet music. Free!


Halloween, Horror and Mystery Theater Scripts <--Click on gravestone!
The Beast of Ghastly Manor
The Shadow radio plays
Sorry, Wrong Number
Twilight Zone Scripts
Phantom of the Opera
and lots more!
(On the page you are on right now, "Don't Look in the Lake" & "Lost Hearts" & "You Don't Bring Me Flowers" & "Dr. Frankenstreudel" & "Auditioning a Ghost" are Halloween plays.)





Pippsi Longknickers

SIR HORACE: "You were rather impressive yourself, autographing each cookie with your thumbprint."
PROF. BANANA: (holding up thumbs) "If you’ve got ‘em, flaunt ‘em."

<--Click on Pippsi for excerpts and free Tea Party scene!

(inspired by Pippi Longstockings by Astrid Lindgren)

theater script adapted for stage by Jeannette Jaquish
(Freckled bombshell bullies bullies, gooses high society and does her part for intergalactic harmony.)

COST: $10 per performance; or 1 year : $40.
Order Me!

Actors:
16 to 25, including 5 smaller and 5 larger
Length: 75 minutes or less (scenes may be cut). 7 scenes. Medium tech complexity but a lot of it.
FREE: Tea Party Scene
Quotes: "Spelling bee award? How nice! Now you can hold your head up high around the prettier girls." -- Mrs. Belittleton
"Once Grandma's servant stole her grand piano but she had no place to hide it so she dragged a carpet over it and told Grandma that the house's foundation was settling unevenly!" -- Pippsi




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Plays by Ruth T. Baker
High School Soap <--Click for excerpt
by Ruth Tyndall Baker
Order this script!
"High School SOAP is a wholesome portrait of high school kids who are in and out of love, in and out of situations which reflect the fun drama that goes on continuously in the halls."

CAST
10 females: age teen to adult, 3 males: 1 teen, 2 adult, Extras: male or female teens.

ROYALTIES
$25 per performance


Al Capone & Me <--Click for excerpt
a 2 act historical fiction play by Ruth Tyndall Baker
Order this script!
"Millie learns to handle even Al Capone amid the roaring twenties’ hope and despair, G-men and gangsters, Prohibition, radio, talkies and print. This love story about the economic and family struggles of Millie and Max is presented as a 1920’s film while the concurrent story of Al Capone interweaves the societal fabric of the 20’s."

CAST
7 males age 20 to 40, 6 females age 20 to 40, 1 female age 60 or older.

ROYALTIES
$60 per performance up to the 4th show, $30 per show from the 5th to the 8th, $390 for 2 months of shows.


Inside the 3-0-9 <--Click for excerpt
by Ruth Tyndall Baker
Order this script!
"Inside the 3-0-9" deals with the problems Sherry faces due to her weight. The cruel wounds from her childhood linger, causing her to disbelieve it when Troy wants to take her out for a bowl of Texas Chili. In the end, she realizes that Troy loves her for herself, the person inside the 309 pounds."

CAST
2 females, 2 males, 2 male or female, one male voice.

ROYALTIES
$10- one performace, $15- two performances, $20 -one month or a 31 consecutive day period of performances.

LENGTH
About 15 min.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Contact Us
or
Order a Script!

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Use your costumes and props in parades!
~ * ~


Who Framed Lucky the Leprechaun?<--Click for excerpts!
an absurd mystery script by Jeannette Jaquish
A Great St. Patrick's Day Theater Script!
An absurd, action-packed, edgy script perfect for experimental theater or teenage casts, plus a few little kids to be leprechauns!.


COST: $10 per performance; or 1 year: $40. Order Me!

CAST
9 to 28 actors. Need 3 to 7 kids and at least 6 to 21 teens or adults, depending on if actors play one part or multiple parts.
LENGTH: about 55 minutes.
TECH: Easy-medium. Alternates scenes onstage and in front of closed curtain or in the audience to allow fast shoving around of chairs and card tables onstage. Carry on props: camcorder, bucket, Lucky. Basic lighting throughout. No special lighting.
COSTUMES & PROPS: 1 big and 3 small leprechaun costumes. A cop and detective. Toy machine guns. Lucky Charm and Trix cereal boxes. A working vacuum cleaner. Two Camcorders, working or not.

EDGY MYSTERY: This show has lots of hilarious characters, action, and ridiculous situations around a logical mystery which is revealed in the climactic ending.
The script is slightly PG with bits about test tube birth, a misunderstanding about a girl named Trixie, a leprechaun trying to get drunk on Strawberry Quik, a cop wanting to do a "search", and speculation about a Leprechaun using lots of clover, but it is all tastefully done, and little kids won't understand those parts anyway. This a great show for mixed ages.

EXCERPTS
LUCKY: Ralph! Ralph, me boy! Show some charity to the wee ones. Hello me little lads and lassie. You're a fine lookin' bunch. And sure you'll be wantin' an autograph to show your friends back home?
KID 2 - Look, Look who it is!
KID 3 - It's Lucky. It's Lucky! He's old! He's old, and big! (EXIT screaming)
Later... DIRECTOR - I'm sorry you found out like this Lucky. The Big Guy, he thinks you're getting a bit old for this role, I mean how old are you? 300?
LUCKY - I'm just 298!
DIRECTOR - And it appears you've had a growth spurt lately. We just can't get actors any bigger to play the children without borrowing from the NBA or Ripley's Believe it or Not.
More Excerpts!




Strange Time at the Science Fair<-- Click for Excerpts
a science themed sci-fi play script by Tom & Zephyr Jaquish

COST: $10 first performance, $5 additional, or $30/year.
Order Me!

SUMMARY: The little science nerd says his invention can control time but while the judge stares skeptically at the unchanging pendulum the events transpiring behind them swing hilariously from high speed to slow motion. Using three real science fair projects and the time control project, you can present an educational, absurd and very very funny little show.
LENGTH: About 18 minutes.
CAST: 4 kids, 1 adult judge, 1 teen or adult photographer
PROPS: 3 real science fair projects, 1 fake project with all printed signs provided in the script- you paste them on a science fair board, pendulum, some kind of device to be the time controller, a tone or audio FX generator - even a toy keyboard with sound effects will work, card tables for the projects. Award ribbons or trophies.
TECH: A device that generates a high and low tone.
EXCERPTS:
(NICK is demonstrating his Time Control device to Dr. Bergers. The other kids and the photographer are behind them.)
DR BERGERS - Nothing happened. The period of the pendulum swing remained constant.
NICK - Hmmm. I'll turn it to slow motion.
DR BERGERS - OK, let me get a fix here. (Starts pendulum, looks at watch.) OK, go!
NICK - We start at normal speed (dial tone down) Now it's slow.
(Kids & Photographer in the background SLOW DOWN.)
PENELOPE - Looook ! it's Albeert Einsteiiiin....
(all start slowly running to side front corner of audience)
DENTIN - Myyyy Heerooo!
WALLY - Hey Einstein???? Caaaan I haaaave youuur Autoooograaaph?
(They crash into each other at edge of stage as first one stops unexpectedly. Big Pileup. Get up. Head back.)
DENTIN - Oh, noooo. It was just the jaaaanitor.
PENELOPE Well, he loooked like Albert Eiiiinsteiiiin...
NICK - And back to normal speed. (tone to normal)
(Background people up to NORMAL SPEED.)
DR BERGERS - I'm sorry, I didn't see any change. It was the same both times.
More excerpts.


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Snow White and the Eco-Disaster Dwarves
a funny fairytale with an environmental message, by Jeannette Jaquish

Click on Apple for Free Script!-->

CAST: 4, Snow White and Three Odd Dwarves
LENGTH: About 5 minutes.
PRICE: FREE if you tell the playwright.

A catchy easy to learn short play about abusing the forest.
For all ages to watch. Actors age 7 on up.
Excerpt:
DIGGER - I'm Digger.
DUMPER - I'm Dumper.
CHOPPER - I'm Chopper Downer.

SNOW WHITE - Those are funny names. I thought you'd be named Bashful or Happy or Sneezy.

DIGGER - Oh, they moved out long ago.
DUMPER - Yeah, when the forest was still green.
CHOPPER - They left some nice furniture.

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Little Red Riding Hood and the Bad Idea Shortcut
a simple scripted folktale adapted by Jeannette Jaquish

<--Image by Gustave Dore' (1832 - 1883)

<--Click on Wolf and Red for EXCERPTS & DETAILS!
CAST: 5
LENGTH: About 15 minutes.
PRICE: $5 first performance, $2 additional, $10 for 1 year.

Not only does the Wolf get a surprise from Little Red, so does the Narrator and the Woodsman!

Lines are easy, catchy and funny. Many absurd moments bring new life to an old favorite.
The Narrator prompts many lines and actions, and can rescue when a line is forgotten.


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Christmas & Holiday Collection:
CLICK on titles and artwork to read EXCERPTS!

~also St. Patrick's Day, Easter, Passover and Thanksgiving Plays~

NEW SCRIPT!:
"When Santa's Away" & "Reindeer #3 is Squeaking!"
© 2012 by Zephyr and Jeannette Jaquish

A simple but witty play-within-a-play Christmas comedy with a song and a few lines for everyone.
Click on Reindeer for EXCERPTS & DETAILS! -->
CASTS: Total of 22, but flexible.
-- "When Santa's Away": 9 total = 8 elves age 6+ and 1 adult Santa.
-- "Reindeer #3 is Squeaking!": 13 total = 4 angels, 4 reindeer and 4 elves age 7+ and 1 adult Music Director.
LENGTH: About 14 minutes for both.
PRICE: $10 first performance, $5 additional, $30 for 1 year.
.......... Music CD: $10 includes shipping. Click to see music tracks.

***
You can also order JUST "Reindeer #3 is Squeaking!" with no set and just bad reindeer, angel and elf costumes for 12 kids and one adult, for $6/$3/$20. Just ASK!
Order Me!





Elfin Antics in Santa's Workshop <--Click for Excerpts!

Children's Christmas Musical by Rosemary Snow
COST: $10 first performance, $5 additional, or $30/year.
$23 Music CD
Free sheet music is included with the script.
LENGTH: 25 minutes
CAST: 14 plus optional dogs

Order Me!
There is pandemonium when the reindeer make toys and the elves take flying lessons!
Santa and the Missus are in despair! And it's the polar bears to the rescue led by the Yodeling Elf! Lots of Arctic facts and a song for each "species".


~*~
Snafu in Santa's Workshop <--Click for excerpts!
or "The Almost Awful Terrible Toy Disaster in Santa's Workshop"
an easy fun short kids Christmas script by Jeannette Jaquish

LENGTH: About 18 minutes.
COST: $10 first performance, $5 additional, or $30/year.

Order Me!
SUMMARY In a terrible mishap all the toys the elves have worked on for a year are destroyed. Can Quigley's new invention save the day, even after it is short circuited by hot cocoa? And who can think with those noisy reindeer romping around?
In rhyme for easier memorization by small children, plus a Narrator who prompts when lines are forgotten.

CAST:
Minimum: 6 kids and 4 adults.
Comfortable: 8-12 kids and 2-4 adults. Can add more kids to be reindeer and extra elves.
Characters: Santa, 4 Elves, 2 or more reindeer, Narrator (capable chid or adult), 2 Kids opening presents, 2 FX crew
TECH: Cardboard box "Dooplicator" machine", toys, table, Christmas tree, fake presents.
SETS: Santa's Workshop & a Christmas tree with presents.

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Miracle on Elf Street <--Click for Excerpts
An audience interaction Christmas play for a small cast by Scott F. Rousseau


DESCRIPTION:
Santa's Elves are in a pickle when Santa gets sick and can't deliver the presents! Oh! And Mrs. Claus reminds them: They have new toy orders to fill: PRONTO! They need help fast! And who is available and sitting right there?
Great chance for audience kids to join the show!

CAST: Four: 3 Elves & Mrs. Claus + Santa's voice.
TECH NEEDS: 2 Tables, lots of soft toys, tennis balls, balls and balloons, cardboard boxes.
LENGTH: Short = about 30 min.
ROYALTY COST: $10 per performance, $35 for a one year run.


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The Twelve Days of Christmas - A Merry Parody! <--Click for excerpts!
An hilarious Christmas parody play by Rhiannon Burch

COST: $5 first performance, $2 additional, or $10/year.
LENGTH: About 5 minutes. Order Me!

This Twelve Days of Christmas script parody is rambunctious and screamingly funny. The more outrageous and terrible the costumes are, the better. You can use one person for each of the 12 gifts or actually fill the stage with 3 French Hens, 7 Swimming Swans and 10 Lords a Leaping.


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Hansel & Gretel and the Falling Christmas Elves <--Click for excerpts!
Children's Christmas Play by Jeannette Jaquish

COST: $10 first performance, $5 additional, or $30/year.
Order Me!
The dopey duo of Hansel and Gretel bungle their way into the hungry Witch's clutches and boiling pot again. When Santa's elves fall off the reindeer and into the Witch's kitchen, is rescue in sight? NOT LIKELY!
The Reader can prompt actors who forget their lines and make it sound like it is part of the narration, "Gretel rolled her eyes and said, "I thought you'd have a gingerbread house." " until the actor picks up and finishes the line. The elves lines are in rhyme making for easier memorization.
CAST: 14 to 19 kids age 5 to adult- Hansel & Gretel, Father and Stepmother, Witch, 7 to 12 Dwarves, Fairy Dog and Fairy Frog and the Reader.
TECH NEEDS: The Witch's large cook pot can be a large gray storage tub spritzed with black spray paint & fake fire.
LENGTH: 25 minutes
MUSIC?: One optional song in the forest with optional forest creatures (can become elves in the next scene). You can add more music. Music file is included with script.



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A Christmas Carol, by Charles Dickens <--Click for excerpts!

LARGE CAST theater script adapted for stage by Jeannette Jaquish

COST: 1st performance: $30; Additional performances: $15 each; $90 for a year of unlimited performances.
LENGTH: 2 hours 15 minutes

Order Me!
This "A Christmas Carol" play is the classic Scrooge, Bob Cratchit, Marley & Tiny Tim mega-production. Lots of newly created lines and short scenes for supporting roles such as street urchins, storekeeper, Nephew Fred's friends, beggars, bankers, serving wench & mop boy and schoolkids! Everyone has great lines!
This is the best "A Christmas Carol" script you are going to find, besides having the best price.
Excerpts:
URCHIN: I don't like singin' for the undertaker. He just stands there. Staring.
LITTLEST: And rubbin' his hands.
SNIFFLY: That's because he gets 2 quid for every pauper he buries.
LEADER: Yeah, we's just a pot o' gold he's waiting to lay hands on.
BANDAGE: So who ARE we gonna sing for?
LITTLEST: How about Mr. Scrooge?

THE CRATCHIT FAMILY'S CHRISTMAS DINNER:


Contact the Author

--> CLICK HERE <--
to Order Any Script!


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Photos from 2005

Poor kid. His share of the National Debt has doubled since then to $53,2410.
Use your costumes for street theater and parades!

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SECTION B: FREE SCRIPTS
if you notify the author

How to Contact the Author

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If you find a free script you can use, please just
Donate A Dollar or Two to Jeannette Jaquish / FunAntics at this link:

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Starting a Theater?

Use FuNAnTiCS FREE tHeATeR SCRiPtS to earn money and get attention!
Then you can afford to buy the Low Priced Scripts for even bigger audiences!

Author: Jeannette Jaquish: I grant permission to perform my Free plays IF I am notified and the author and this website (www.theaterfunscripts.com) are listed in the printed program or are announced or displayed at the show.
You may charge admission. (Please do, in fact, then you can buy my not-free scripts.)
If you perform any of my plays with this requirement without notifying me, you owe me triple royalties plus collection co$t$ such as travel and attorney fees, etc!

So just notify and enjoy! Easy Rules for Using Free and Not-Free Scripts.

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Fairy Tales on the Mars Frontier <--Click here!
Real science theater script by Jeannette Jaquish
(Fairy tales evolve as pioneer parents on Mars teach values and survival to their kids.)
Uses real scientific data about how humans will terra-form and colonize Mars!

Actors: 11 to 35 Actors can play multiple parts.
Length: 35 minutes.
3 small scenes within one long scene. Medium tech complexity.
Cost: FREE
if you notify author, and give her proper announcement. Easy Rules for Using Free and Not-Free Scripts. Easy Rules for Free Scripts.

QUOTES:
"Is your dome strong? Mine blew in!"
"My dome sits low below the crater. Aluminum cover like a baked potater." -- Pigs 1 & 2

"Can you stop this purple plague?"
"Stand back and be amazed!"
"I don't know about this piper."
"She is weird."
"And very hyper." -- Townspeople and The Pied Piper
"This is the dome, resistant to shock,
Built by the man who crushed the rock,
That lay on the surface of Red Mars." -- Rock Song



The Spoiled Baloney Man <--Click here!
(That cycle of life and death really stinks.)
a fractured fairy tale by Jeannette Jaquish
based on The Stinky Cheese Man - but better!

ACTORS:
3 puppets, 5 actors or more
LENGTH: 25 minutes. 1 scene. Simple-medium tech complexity
COST: FREE
if you notify author, and give her proper announcement. See easy details. Easy Rules for Free Scripts.

Quotes: "Not a pretty picture, or smell, when BALONEY GOES BAD! Raised by bacteria in a cold microwave oven. Would love, color and stimulation in its childhood have made a difference?" -- Frog




If Shakespeare had Written the Theory of Relativity <--Click for script!
Shakespeare's classic lines adapted into a swashbuckling debate on relativity.
an educated farce by Thomas Jaquish

COST: FREE!
CAST: Prince Albert, Zhugaid, Arshay, and two gossipy chambermaids.
PROPS & FURNITURE: Period costumes or something close, two champagne glasses, two knives or swords for a mock battle.
LENGTH: About 25 minutes.
Easy Rules for Free Scripts.




Kiss the Brown Bunny<--Click here!
an actors & puppets script
by Jeannette Jaquish

(The flirty Cockroach bets grumpy Spike the dog that three people will kiss her in three minutes.)

<-- shown here: Folkmanis cockroach puppet.
ACTORS: 2 puppets, 3 actors
You may RENT THE PUPPETS from the author.
Length: 8 minutes. 1 scene. Very simple tech complexity.
PUPPETS:Acquiring Folkmanis cockroach puppet and Percy the Dog (from Pocohontas) is tricky. Rent them from the author. Details on script page.
Cost: FREE if you notify author, and give her proper announcement.
Easy Rules for Free Scripts.

QUOTES:
"Cockroach: Even cockroaches have feelings and mine are hurting... Snuggle???
Spike the Dog: Get away from me you filthy insect! Go snuggle in a garbage disposal!"



The Monkey's Paw, by W. W. Jacobs <-- Click for script!

adapted for stage by Jeannette Jaquish
The classic story of wishes gone bad..
Cast: Old man, old woman, grown son or daughter, Sergeant-Major Morris, Visitor from Maw & Meggins.
Length: 18 minutes.
Tech: 4 scenes. Simple set and costumes. Some quick but simple set changes.
Cost: FREE if you notify author, and give her proper announcement. Easy Rules for Free Scripts.



SPANISH & ENGLISH BI-LINGUAL TRANSLATIONS
Restaurante Del Diablo" <--Click here!
a Spanish & English script
by Jeannette Jaquish

Cost: FREE

Scripts alternate Spanish with English so a person speaking either language can understand, and also learn the other language.
Quotes:
FATHER: Waiter! You have your thumb in my soup!!!
WAITER: (wiping thumb on napkin) Me fama? Gracias, Senor, pero las sopa no es caliente. (Exits)
FATHER: Thank you but it's not hot! I don't believe it! His dirty thumb was in my soup!
SON: Esta limpia, ahora.
FATHER: Ewwww! You eat. I'm not hungry now.
SON: (spits out first taste) Bleccchh!!
FATHER: Que pasa?
SON: There is a fly in this soup!
FATHER: Una mosca en tu sopa!!! Terrible!!
WAITER (Returns, placing bill on the table): La cuenta.
SON: MESERO! ESTA UNA MOSCA EN MI SOPA!
WAITER: Fly in your soup??? Is that a problem? Are you a vegetarian?!

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Short Skits & Easy Plays for Kids <--Click for skits!
comedy skits & scripts by Jeannette Jaquish
with links to those by other authors.
Cost: FREE.
Skits for 2 or more actors. 30 seconds to 10 minutes. From Easy to Medium difficulty
The Way I Remember it
Nutty Nursery Rhymes
Flight of the Vultures
Hansel & Gretel -- Kindergarten Level - Very Fun!
Dino Puppet Jokes
Cereal Killer
Before Eve met Adam
Restaurant skit
Muppet Veterinarian's Hospital
Knock-Knock Jokes - Scout Skits - Joke Skits



o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o



Funny Songs to Perform <--Click here!
by Jeannette Jaquish
with links to songs by other authors.

Some Titles:
Your Mama Don't Wear No Socks
The Hilarious Intermission Song:


"Sodas full of caffeine; Your heart pounds like a freight train,
Let's go to the lobby and have little snack..."
Gilbert and Sullivan Spoof Songs
Songs from Frog Prince and the Princess Brat
Christmas Song Parodies
Incompetech.com Royalty Free music - Good Quality and lots of styles.



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HUNDREDS of FREE Scripts, Radio Plays, TV scripts, Puppet Plays and Songs by OTHER AUTHORS <--Click here!
WARNING!
Many links to scripts by other authors DO NOT have a link back to this page!
So ADD FUNANTICS to your FAVORITES!

Monty Python
Saturday Night Live sketches
Abbott & Costello
Old Time Radio Scripts: Flash Gordon, Sherlock Holmes, Fibber McGee and Molly
Twilight Zone
War of the Worlds
Muppets' Veterinarian Skits, and other Puppet Plays
Classic TV and Film scripts: Sorry, Wrong Number, Duck Soup, A Christmas Carol (Scrooge) Monologues
Parody Songs
Readers Theater scripts of Folk Tales and Historical Fiction - Read or Act!
Huge Cast School Musicals, Simple or Complex
and GOBS more good scripts!

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You can PHONE ME at the number on this page.
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3 FREE SCENE BOOKS!
<-- Click to see List of Scenes for All Three Books!

In 3 age groups:
~ Age 6 to 8 .~*~. Age 8 to 13 .~*~. Age 13 and older ~

Kids love to read scenes and put on little performances.
Great for teachers, camp leaders and home schoolers!
No charge for the download, copying, distributing or performing!

<--Click on image to get the PDF files FREE.

Or ORDER for Christmas or Birthday!
A Talking Frogs CD Collection makes a GREAT Gift!!
For teachers, activity leaders, scoutmasters, homeschoolers and parents.
ORDER All 3 "Talking Frogs" Scene Books
on pdf files on one CD ready to print out.
PRICE: $10 each CD in a case with a nice cover (title and images)
add $3 for gift-wrapped with a note.
POSTAGE to the US included and mailed by next day.
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How to Contact the Author Email:

This website (c) Jeannette Jaquish 1999-2013

~ * ~ Click to ORDER A SCRIPT!

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If you find a free script you can use, please just
Donate $1 to Jeannette Jaquish / FunAntics at this link:

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Email: funantics.scripts@yahoo.com