CHARACTERS
Narrator
Gift Girl
Partridge
Turtle Dove (Turtle with wings)
Mocking Bird
French Hen (Chicken with beret)
Golden Ring
Swan
Goose
Milking Maid
Cow
Drummer
Piper (Bag pipe)
Dancing Girl
Leaping Lord
The 12 Days of Christmas
~ A Spoof ~
by Rhiannon Burch ©2011
(CURTAIN RISES
Stage Right: Narrator
Center Stage: Gift Girl)
Narrator:
On the 1st day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… a partridge in a pear tree.
(ENTER: Stage Left: PARTRIDGE AND PEAR TREE)
Gift Girl:
It’s a bird in a tree. Where am I supposed to put this thing?
Partridge:
You’re not the one stuck in a pear tree.
Narrator:
On the 2nd day of Christmas my true love gave to me…two turtle doves.
(ENTER: Stage Right: TURTLE DOVE)
Gift Girl:
Ewww, it pooped on me!
Narrator:
And a partridge in a pear tree!
Gift Girl:
Did you just re-gift that?
Narrator:
On the 3rd day of Christmas, my true love game to me…three French hens.
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-------LINES SKIPPED -------- -----
Narrator:
On the 4th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…four mocking birds.
Gift Girl:
Fantastic, more birds.
(ENTER Rear Stage: MOCKING BIRD)
Mocking Bird:
Your hair looks stupid.
Narrator:
Three French hens, two turtledoves, and a partridge in a pear tree.
Gift Girl:
All I wanted was a new Ipod!
Narrator:
On the 5th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…
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-------LINES SKIPPED -------- -----
Partridge:
Is anyone going to help me out of this tree?
Narrator:
On the 10th day of Christmas, my true love sent to me…ten pipers piping.
ENTER: Stage Right: PIPER
Sound effect: a lot of bag pipes
Gift Girl:
Augh, it sounds like they’re strangling ten cats!
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-------LINES SKIPPED -------- -----
BLACKOUT as Gift Girl starts to wail in despair.