~ Slipperzzzz! ~
Cobb
and the 12 Dancing Princesses

by Jeannette Jaquish (c) 2012

Princesses may range from age 5 on up, as you like..

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Music CD for 12 Dancing Princesses
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DESCRIPTION
Slipperzzz is more than a dance recital! It is a funny, witty, suspenseful story of a search for love and and how love breaks through pre-conceptions.
Cobb, a humble shoemaker rejects the boorish girls of his backward village to search for a dream, a silly dream of course, of marrying a princess. He rescues an old woman from a bandit in the forest and finds himself right where he wanted to be -- surrounded by beautiful princesses -- however they treat him like a nobody, except the most delightful one -- who treats him even worse!
But the princesses have a mysterious habit of disappearing all night and showing up exhausted with their shoes in tatters in the morning. Handsome princes put to watch them are easily defeated by their cunning charms. Their powerful father, the King is devastated by his love for them and the memory of his beloved wife who disappeared years ago under the same circumstances. A manipulative Grand Vizier has something up his sleeve, as Cobb and the Old Woman figure it out and venture into the terrifying Underworld to rescue the princesses and preserve True Love!

POPULAR: A guaranteed audience is families with little girls who love anything princess. For instance:
--- Wikipedia: "In the October 14, 2006 issue of Billboard magazine, "Barbie in the 12 Dancing Princesses" debuted at Number One on the Top DVD Sales chart." ---
And this play has a lot more personality than that boring Barbie movie!

Watch Video Clips!

MUSIC
This production has a variety of musical styles for your choreography. The music is beautiful and licenses are taken care of, or you may use your own music, with a little adaptation.
Six to twelve young men are needed for the Underworld partners of the girls. They have other parts as Ugly Girls, Bandits and Servants, and are in two dances and one athletic scene.
CONTACT the author at the link above for more information, or to request a perusal script and music sampler.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

~ Slipperzzzz ~
Cobb and the 12 Dancing Princesses

a rambunctious comedy by Jeannette Jaquish, adapted from the rather boring folktale
Music performed by Kevin MacLeod ©Creative Commons - www.incompetech.com

Royalty must be paid to perform - www.theaterfunscripts.com - ©2012 Jeannette Jaquish


CAST - for a total of 22 to 28
Cobb the Young Shoemaker -

12 Princesses (from youngest to oldest):
1 Azalea
2 Bluebell
3 Clover
4 Dahlia
5 Forsythia
6 Hyacinth
7 Iris
8 Jonquil - the love interest
9 Lilac
10 Primrose
11 Saffron
12 Violet

Townfolk:
Town Market Lady- Mrs. SwampWeather (with basket)
Town Farmer - Hoagie McLogjam (with bag of produce or rake)
Town Woodcutter or Ironsmith (with axe or hammer or work apron)
(Market Lady, Farmer and Woodcutter can also play: )
Old Lady-PotScraper-
King Leo (father of the princesses) -
Grand Vizier who is also Underworld King Mudred -

6 to 12 Underworld Brothers
You need at least 6 male actors to play Ugly Girls, Bandits, Servants, and Underworld Brothers
Ugly Girls - - - - - - - - - - Servants - - - - - - - - - - Bandits - - - - - - - - - - UnderWorldBrothers
-Stubithia - - - - - - - - - - - 1 & First Prince - - - - - - 1- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 1 -
- Brilda - - - - - - - - - - - - - 2 & Last Prince- - - - - - 2- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 2-
-Brunolla - - - - - - - - - - - - 3 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 3 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 3-
- Ogretta - - - - - - - - - - - - - 4 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 4 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 4-
- Rufishka - - - - - - -- - - - - - 5 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Lurk - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 5 - Lurk -
Town Mayor - - - - - - - - - - Old Shoemaker, - - - Bully Bandit- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -6 -
More male actors? Spread out the additional parts.
Mongrella- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 7-
Lumpina- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 8-
Noggilla- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 9-
Throttle- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 10-
Tuffy- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 11-
Gorilka- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 12-
(Ugly Girls wear hillbilly teeth, tattoos, messy hair, balloon bosoms, hairy chests and legs.)
(Contact Jeannette Jaquish for help adapting the Cast List.)

EXCERPTS of
~ Slipperzzzz ~

Cobb
and the 12 Dancing Princesses

adapted from the folktale
by Jeannette Jaquish ©2012


Scene 1 - THE BRIDES OF HOBNOBBIT (3 minutes, 30 seconds)
MUSIC: ďThe Brides of Hobnobbit TownĒ , up and out as lines begin.
LIGHTS UP OR OPEN CURTAIN
(Outdoor Town: Open Cobbler shop where COBB is making shoes ignoring STUBITHIA and any other UGLY GIRLS flirting in or ENTERING his shop.
FARMER walks across street, glances into shop and laughs. MARKET LADY runs up to him.)


LADY - Hoagie McLogjam! Have you seen my daughter, Stubithia? That lazy girl! I told her to catch a bucket of frogs to make Kartoffelupuggus, but she ran off.

FARMER - Ha Ha! Take a look in the Shoemakerís shop, Mrs. SwampWeather. I think your Stubithia is chasing a certain frog over there!

LADY - The Shoemakerís Shop! Stubithia! Stubithia! You come home right now!

STUBITHIA - No, Mama! Just a while longer! Cobb liiikes me!
(BRILDA and BRUNOLLA ENTER carrying flowers and a basket, go in shop.)

FARMER - Ha Ha. Maybe youíll have the simple-minded shoemaker for a son-in-law.

LADY - Donít get too high and mighty, McLogjam! Look! Arenít those your twins? Taking a lovers gift to that young fool!
(From opposite sides, MAYOR and WOODCUTTER ENTER.)

FARMER - Brilda! Brunolla! What are you doing? Flowers? Chocolate Gizzards? It is not proper for girls to woo boys! You will bring another 90 years of wretched disgrace upon the family.

BRILDA - Oh, Papa!
BRUNOLLA - Donít be so old fashioned!
BOTH - Cobb likes me!
BRILDA - Likes you? Itís me he likes!
BRUNOLLA - No! Itís me he likes! He canít stand you! (Start squabbling hollering insults. FARMER grabs them but they escape back into shop. FARMER returns to TOWNFOLK group.
OGRETTA ENTERS heading to Shoemakerís shop.)


WOODCUTTER - Have you seen my daughter Ogretta? I sent her to the market.

LADY - Did you send her to buy shoes? There she goes into the shoemakerís shop!

WOODCUTTER - Ogretta! Stop chasing that boy! Itís not ladylike!
OGRETTA - Just a while longer! Cobb wants to talk to me!
COBB (losing his temper) - No I donít! I canít stand any of you! I didnít invite you! Go home!

MAYOR - Canít you people keep track of your daughters? They are sullying the reputation of the town of HobNobbit!
(REST of UGLY GIRLS ENTER shop.)
WOODCUTTER - And where are YOUR daughters?
WOODCUTTER, LADY, FARMER - Mayor McFlabbergastor! (point)

MAYOR - Iím ruined! Iíll never marry them off now! Boo hoo hoo!

MUSIC: The Brides of HobNobbit Town
by Jeannette Jaquish to the tune of ďSonatinaĒ by Kevin MacLeod

[TOWNGIRLS flirt at COBB as he tries to work, as TOWNFOLK sing at the side.]

TOWNFOLK:
In HobNobbit Town,
In the land of Piltdown,
Grow the best turnips, hogs and blushing brides.

Dainty and sweet,
Delicate feet,
Clean fresh breath, like formaldehyde.

But that boy who makes shoes,
Our girls, does refuse,
Throws out their Valentines and sends them away.

COBB:
Excuse me, STOP!
Get out of my shop!
A gentle well bred princess Iíll marry, some day!

TOWNFOLK (gesturing to Town Girls);
Burly and polite,
Beautiful, by candlelight,
Imagine my daughter in her mother's wedding gown;

TOWN PERSON:
Lips like caramel,
GIRLS:
Sweet Nothings to tell
TOWNFOLK & GIRLS:
Only a fool would shun the brides of HobNobbit Town. --MUSIC ENDS
COBB - Well, then, call me a fool! But Iíve made up my mind, and Iím marrying a princess!

ALL TOWNFOLK & GIRLS - Ha ha!

MARKET LADY - Marry a princess? Ha! How will that happen?

COBB - Hiccupping Hedgehogs! You are right! It wonít happen until I MAKE it happen!
(starts packing)

STUBITHIA - You are a nobody.

BRILDA - Smelly and dirty!

BRUNOLLA - Ignorant!

RUFELLA - And you donít know nothiní!

OGRETTA - A peasant just like us! Soon to be a beggar! And youíll die alone!

ALL GIRLS - Cobb! Donít leave us!

COBB - Sorry girls, Someone else will come along.

MAYOR - How can you reject our beautiful HobNobbit young ladies?

FARMER - Each one more beautiful, charming, amusing than...
WOODCUTTER - ... any farm animal!

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KING LEO - Where are my daughters?

SERVANTS 1 2 3 4 5 - Still in bed, King Leo.

KING LEO - I commanded yesterday, that they join me for breakfast today!

5 - They wonít get out of bed, Sire.

KING LEO (stomping) - Then drag them out! Throw them in burlap bags and haul them in like turnips! Wind them into rugs and roll them in. Iím the King, and when I give a command it will be obeyed! (Sits down center, angry, teeth grinding,)

12345 - Yes, Sire! (EXIT)

(From a distance offstage, PRINCESS Voices, whining:)

A - Stop pushing!

B - Off with your head, and off with your head!

C - Unhand me you scurvy dog!

D - It canít be morning yet, why is it so bright?

F - I want to go back to bed!

H - Thatís my pillow! Donít take it away! (enters hugging pillow)

(PRINCESSES ENTER, sleepy, messy hair, wearing nightgowns.)

KING LEO - Good morning, daughters.
PRINCESSES - Itís too early!

KING LEO (sternly) - Daughters?
PRINCESSES (lovingly) - Good Morning, Poppa!

(Each daughter goes to hug, pat, kiss or greet her Father and then flops down sleepily on the table or in a chair or across Kingís shoulder or on the floor. As they greet their Father, he says the name of each.)

KING LEO - Good morning, Azalea, Bluebell, Clover. My sweet flowers Dahlia, Forsythia and Hyacinth. Open your eyes Iris, Jonquil, Lilac. My sleepy faced darlings Primrose, Saffron and Violet. Now, why are you not awake and dressed!

JONQUIL - Weíre too tired!

PRINCESSES - Snoooore!

KING (bangs on table) WHAT IS THE MEANING OF ALL THIS SLEEPINESS???

(SERVANTS EXIT scared.)

PRINCESSES - (Squeal!) Weíre growing girls!

KING - Ridiculous. Youíll grow to be giants with all this sleep!

MUSIC:
A Princess is a Princess

by Jeannette Jaquish
to the tune of ďFensterís ExplanationĒ by Kevin MacLeod
(King sings, scolding them. Girls sassy and sleepy, light gymnastics rolling over each other, dancing with big clumsy steps leaning on each other. At end of song girls sink into snoring pile.)

KING:
A princess is a princess from her head down to her toes,
From her dainty arched foot, to the tilt of her nose,
Sheís taught to be graceful and never grandiose,
She is delicate and demure. She must never ever doze.

DAUGHTERS:
Please let us Poppa Dear, go back to bed!
Weíre as clumsy as, the walking dead,
SOLO: Our breakfast weíll devour once weíve slept another hour,
ALL: Back, in, bed!

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KING LEO - Take them back to bed! Weíll talk about this later.

PRINCESSES (EXITING) - Good night, Poppa.
KING LEO - Itís morning!

(SERVANTS 1, 3, 4, 5 EXIT with PRINCESSES)
SERVANT 2 - Your Highness, if you please?
KING LEO - What is it?

SERVANT 2 - Certainly His Majesty remembers that before the Beautiful and Beloved Queen Raven disappeared. . .

KING LEO (grieving)- She was wearing out her shoes, and tired as the dead for 10 days running. Is it a curse that now falls upon my daughters? I must ask the Grand Vizier. He has studied all manner of curses and dark history. (EXITS)

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COBB - Bleeding? Where?

OLD LADY - Here, on your head. (She gently touches his head.) Iíll just wipe out the dirt with a little water. (She touches a corner of her cloak to her water gourd and wipes a spot on his head while they talk.)

COBB - My name is Cobb. May I ask yours?

OLD LADY - My name? Well, it hardly suits me anymore. Lately, Iíve been called PotScraper.

COBB - Potscraper? A rather rough name for so mild a spirit. I canít call you that. Hmmmm, I will call you... Lady....

OLD LADY - Lady?

COBB - Lady Hummingbird! For the swift way you swing a stick, yet your touch is a gentle as a feather.

OLD LADY - (laughs) Iíve traded my old feathers for new.

COBB - Again I amuse you and again you reply in riddles. Look! Your shoe has ripped open. Let me mend it for you. I am a cobbler. ( Takes her shoe and starts sewing on it) Do you live in that town over yonder?

OLD LADY - Oh no. I live here in the forest.

COBB - In the forest? Why? Have you no family.

OLD LADY - My family is... lost. Iíve spent the last ____(age of youngest princess) years doing very hard labor in the dark and damp; it has gnarled my hands and wrinkled my face. The townfolk call me ďWitchĒ and throw stones and threats, so I just keep to myself out here.

COBB - Thatís terrible! A pox upon them and their ignorant ways! (pause) Your feet are not old. They are as slender and muscular as a dancerís.

OLD LADY - (very shy and complimented, covering her feet) Oh, pardon me.

COBB - Donít be ashamed. A cobbler sees a lot of feet, just like a barber sees a lot of teeth.

OLD LADY - A cobbler. Are you looking for a town to ply your trade?

COBB - Oh, a cobbler can find work anywhere. I am seeking a wife.

OLD LADY - A wife?

COBB - It may be foolish, but I want to marry a princess.

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OLD LADY - And be burned as a witch? Take it and go to that fine city over yonder. The King there has 12 princess daughters.

COBB (stunned) - Twelve???

OLD LADY - Yes, twelve. And twelve princesses need a lot of shoes -- A c0bbler could find work at that castle. Aaaand princesses often get lonely. Maybe one would talk to you. There is a ____Jonquilís hair color¨¨¨¨¨_____ -haired one who is known for her curiosity, about your age, I think. Keep this cloak handy. There is much danger around 12 beautiful princesses.

COBB - Twelve Princesses! Maybe I could use the cloak to... slay a dragon or rescue one from a high tower.

OLD LADY - Cobb! Itís not a flying carpet! Just keep it in your pocket and donít lose it! There are many who would use it for evil.

COBB - I.. I donít know how to thank you.

OLD LADY - Glad to get rid of it. Now, get on with you. Hurry! The drawbridge goes up at dusk.

COBB - I... I canít leave you here alone..

OLD LADY - I live here. Farewell, Cobb the Shoemaker!

COBB - Farewell, brave Lady Hummingbird! (EXITS, forgetting his hat on the ground)

OLD LADY (sighs) - Goodbye, Cobb. Go in peace. Go in safety. Oh, the silly boy, left his hat. Cobb! Cobb!
(SHE tries to run after him but she is in pain) Sir Grunnionís Bunions! What have I done to my ankle? Well, maybe he will come back for it. Oh! Look at the shadows! Silly old woman, you need to gather wood for a big fire! I fear there will be wolves tonight.

(She picks up a few sticks and LURK ENTERS, just walking along. They almost bump into each other, and jump back, startled. She raises a stick as a weapon.)

LURK - There you are! PotScraper you crazy old woman!

OLD LADY - Iím crazy all right! Crazy enough to split your head open if you come any closer!

LURK - Give it back and Iíll be gone.

OLD LADY - Itís gone! Long gone! I tied it to a squirrelís tail and he ran up a tree. Iím sure heís made it into a nice nest. Start climbing if you want to find it.

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SERVANT 3 - Chumley! Tell me, did this one stay awake?
4 - No! Ha ha! He fell asleep like the first three. And in the morning all the girlsí shoes...
3 - Worn through full of holes?
4 - Like swiss cheese!
3 - Like bug-eaten cabbage
4 - Like...
1, 2, 5 (ENTERING) - Chumley, Satchet! Did he fall asleep?
3, 4 - Yes! (snoring ridiculously)

5- Excellent! I win the bet! Pay up, Rollo! Three-pence!
1 (pays coins to #5) - Fooey! I thought the Tutor could stay awake. He looks so smart.

4- Whatís in the sack?
2 - Ladies shoes! ďTaxedĒ off the town ladiesí feet!

5- The Princesses wear out their shoes faster than the Royal Shoemaker can make them!
2 - All the ladies in town are barefoot now! (minces around as if barefoot on rocky ground)
12345 - Ha Ha Ha!

GRAND VIZIER (ENTERING) - What is the meaning of this barnyard braying! Back to work!
(SERVANTS EXIT - change into Bandit costumes)

KING LEO (ENTERING) - Vizier! I am at my witís end. For four nights my daughters have disappeared and in the morning their shoes are worn through. This is how it began when my dear wife disappeared! If I lose my daughters as I lost my dear Raven, Iíll lose my mind. Give me a solution!

GRAND VIZIER - Hmmm... My King, proclaim a contest: The nobleman or prince who discovers where the princesses are going may select one for his bride.

KING LEO - Excellent idea! I will wind up with a wealthy son-in-law! And those who fail get tossed in the dungeon! And I can hold them for ransom! Ha ha! Vizier! Go make the proclamation! (EXITS happier)

GRAND VIZIER - Right away, my King. Heh heh.

MUSIC - Locked Door, Old Key
by Jeannette Jaquish to the tune of ďBad IdeasĒ by Kevin MacLeod

GRAND VIZIER:
Locked door, hid behind a tapestry, ~~~~~~~
Old Key dropped upon the floor, ~~~~~~~
Young girls, curious, eager to explore,
Soon they tried that key in that loooong, locked door. (EXITS) MUSIC ENDS

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COBB (witchy voice) - That first little boy was delicious, but now I am really hungry -- for Bangers and Mash!

BANDITS (screaming they EXIT leaving their injured to crawl off behind them)

COBB (witchy voice, lifting the belt of a crawling BULLY BANDIT) - This one is plump and juicy!

CRAWLING RUNNING BULLY BANDIT - No, donít eat me! Iíve got worms!
(ALL BANDITS remaining scamper offstage-EXIT
- Change into Old Shoemaker, First & Last Prince, Servant 3 , and the rest Underworld Princes.)


( COBB laughs and takes off his cloak. LURK watches intently as COBB puts it in his pocket, then shoulders his pack again. LURK quickly combs his hair, straightens his clothes and ENTERS casually, whistling and acting very upper crust.)

LURK - I say there old chap, Hullo! I found this cap back there on the path. Yours, perhaps?

COBB - Crikey! My cap! Thank you, old fellow, youíve done me a crackiní good turn.

LURK - My pleasure. Iíve got to chivvy along, cheerio and all, but may I say, my good man, that you are beastly dirty, a real dusty crusty dragon. Been having a roll in the dirt? Iíll just brush off your backside for you. (LURK brushes off dirt and tries to pickpocket the cloak. )
Canít show up in town covered in filth. They might think you are a beggar come to stay.

COBB - (jumping away) - Get out of my pocket!

(OLD LADY ENTERS carrying a load of firewood and sees them. Drops the firewood except for one long stick and comes running to help COBB.)

LURK (grabbing stick from the ground) - Give me that cloak or Iíll knock your teeth out and send your head to catch up! (He starts swinging it at COBB who ducks and dodges.)

(A Three Stooges type of fight. LURK never sees OLD LADY. Lots of swings and misses. When COBB trips and canít escape, finally OLD LADY whacks LURK in the head knocking him unconscious)

COBB - Lady Hummingbird! You saved me just in time. I was running out of British slang.

OLD LADY - Weíre in France.
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(PRINCESSES in nightgowns are giving KING LEO a goodnight kiss, as he sits in the chair. The FIRST PRINCE standing nearby, gives the princesses the look over, and they give him demure flirty looks.
PRINCESSES all say ďGoodnight, PapaĒ as KING LEO says their names, as in Scene 2.)


KING LEO - Good night, Azalea, Bluebell, Clover.
Sweet dreams, Dahlia, Forsythia and Hyacinth.
Stay in bed, Iris, Jonquil, Lilac.
Iíll see you for breakfast, Primrose, Saffron and Violet.

EACH PRINCESS (after kissing, hugging or patting KING LEO) - Goodnight, Papa. (EXIT)

KING LEO - It is extremely important, Prince....

FIRST PRINCE - Haagen, Your Highness.

KING LEO - Extremely important, Prince Haagen, that you do not fall asleep. My daughters are smart, charming, wily, little weasels. Do not trust them an inch!

FIRST PRINCE - Um... Yes, Sir.

KING LEO (stands)- So much I have done for them! I have invaded smaller countries with my armies dressed as marching bands. I have signed peace accords and then took their royals hostage. I have spread rumors and false evidence to create rebellions that overthrew other rulers so I could more easily conquer them. I kidnapped the most beautiful loving wife to be my childrenís mother! All this to give my children safety, riches and power!
And what do they reward me with? Lies and trickery!
Still I love them. I fear one night they will disappear and not come back. It will destroy me.

FIRST PRINCE - Have no fear, King Leo. I will watch them like a hawk, with eagle eyes, circling like a vulture, but not pouncing, and if I see them leaving I will raise the alarm, like a cockadoodle rooster --

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(Youngest: Azalea, Bluebell, Clover and Dahlia cluster around him as OTHERS laugh and clap.)
1 AZALEA - Poor boy. He tried so hard to stay awake.
2 BLUEBELL - And now heís going to the dungeon!
3 CLOVER - No heís not. We donít even have a dungeon. Papa is scared of the dark so heís never looked inside.
4 DAHLIA - Itís just the mop closet. A hundred years ago a boy wrote ďDungeonĒ on it for a joke.

7 IRIS - Azalea, Bluebell, Clover, Dahlia! Stop petting that silly prince and go get ready.

1,2,3,4 - Yes, Iris. Bossy!

6 HYACINTH - And donít forget your dancing slippers.

1,2,3,4 - We wonít forget, Hyacinth! Weíre not stupid! (EXIT to bedroom)

6 FORSYTHIA - Iíll get the key!

8 JONQUIL - Itís not your turn, Forsythia!

6 FORSYTHIA - Yes it is, Jonquil!
( BOTH race EXIT to bedroom)
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OLD SHOEMAKER (ENTERING) - Itís impossible! Beyond the bounds of reason!
The idea that one cobbler can make 12 new pairs of shoes a day is PREPOSTEROUS!!!
And mathematically unsound!
12 pairs times 2 feets equals 24 shoes! 24 shoes times 7 days is ....um... 168 new shoes a week!

GRAND VIZIER - Silence! Arggh!! You know how I abhor mathematics! Itís all sciencey! Itís like a dagger exploding in my skull!
Soon I will have the King decree that all who talk of math and science will have their heads boiled off by four horses!
Now, I order you to get back to work! (hands him bag of holey shoes) The Princesses need more shoes!

OLD SHOEMAKER - Then send them to the blacksmith for iron shoes, because I QUIT! (EXITS)

GRAND VIZIER - Actually, that is not a bad idea.
(SERVANT 3 ENTERS roughly pulling COBB and the OLD LADY who covers her face)

SERVANT 3 - Grand Vizier, pardon me, but I need you to pronounce a punishment for these miscreants.

GRAND VIZIER - What is their crime?

SERVANT 3 -
#1: Criminal mischief! - camping out for 4 days and nights at the front gate and wonít go away!
#2: Vandalism! - Banging on the front door with theyís fists!
and #3: Disturbing the Peace! - Ringing the bell and hollering that they wants work for low wages! Could you make it bloody and prolonged, iffen you please, Sir?

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12 VIOLET - Oh, Papa. We donít go out dancing. Where would we go?
11 SAFFRON - The only dancing we do is in our dreams.
10 PRIMROSE - And as for the holes in our shoes....
9 LILAC - Maybe it is mice!
8 JONQUIL - Wearing our shoes, dancing!
7 IRIS - No, Jonquil! Eating holes in our shoes!
OTHER PRINCESSES - Ewww.. Oh yes! Thatís it!

KING LEO - The only mischievous mice, are the ones wiggling their noses at me right here.

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Where do we go? We donít know!
Borneo? Tokyo?
Favorite dance scenario:
Dancing with our Daddy-O!

Whoís got the most bravissimo?
Vince van Gogh? Romeo?
A hero that we wonít outgrow,
Dancing with our Daddy-O!

Swing me round to and fro
Pianissimo. Adagio.
Heel and toe, heel and toe,
Dancing with our Daddy-O

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4 DAHLIA (pointing to Azalea, then Bluebell) - Well you WERE stinky and you WERE terrible, but I donít think thatís why she left.
5 FORSYTHIA - Did she find the key and open the door?
OTHERS - Shhhh!
6 HYACINTH - Nobody knows. Maybe she was kidnapped.
7 IRIS - Or ran away. Maybe she wanted sons instead of daughters.
8 JONQUIL - But Papa said she was wearing out her shoes and staying out all night. Like us.
OTHERS -- Shhhh!
9 LILAC - Maybe she did go where we go, and didnít want to come back.
10 PRIMROSE - I love dancing every night, but I always want to come back.
11 SAFFRON - Stop worrying. We always come back. Whatís to stop us?
12 VIOLET - Maybe mother got lost. But there are 12 of us and we are smart and strong. Nothing will stop us from coming back.
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GRAND VIZIER - Well, their quality seems . . . acceptable. Are they the same sizes as the old shoes?

COBB - They should be. May I have permission to have the princesses try them on? Personally?

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GRAND VIZIER - Did the sleeping syrup I gave you help?

PRINCESSES - Yes! (ad lib, stretching) We sleep so well now. Wake up refreshed. Sleep like a log! (They give each other secret looks. They have been giving the syrup to the princes.)

GRAND VIZIER - Excellent. I know the King wants you up for breakfast, but growing girls need plenty of sleep. By the way, has anyone found that key I lost about 2 weeks ago, perhaps in this room?

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v!
6 HYACINTH - Iíd run away first.
5 FORSYTHIA - And hide in the woods? Or find a peasant family to work for?
4 DAHLIA - Or be a beggar?
3 CLOVER - I donít want to marry an old man with ugly caterpillar eyebrows!
2 BLUEBELL - Maybe we should stop going!
1 AZALEA - Iím scared. I want to tell Papa the truth!
12 - VIOLET - Sisters! Nothing bad will happen. We are smarter than all of them!
ALL (ad lib) Yes, weíre smarter. Theyíll never figure it out. Nothing to worry about.

8 JONQUIL (sits to try on shoes) Finally, my turn! (disdainfully flirty) Whatís your name, Boy?

COBB - Uh.... uh... (staring at her face enchanted, while putting her shoes on wrong feet)

12 VIOLET - The shoemaker boy! He heard us talking.

8 JONQUIL - I said: Whatís your name? Are you simple?

COBB - Um.. uh.. C-C-C-Cobb, if it p-p-pleases your M-M-Majesty.. uh Princess.

12 VIOLET - Boy! Did you hear us talking?

COBB - Huh? Are your shoes too small?

12 VIOLET - The shoes are fine. What did you hear us say?

COBB - You said did I hear you talking.

8 JONQUIL - I donít think we need to worry about this one, Violet. (she stands and walks but shoes are on wrong feet and she stumbles and duck-walks. Her SISTERS laugh.)
You fool! These shoes make me walk like a duck!

COBB - Iím sorry, beautiful Princess! I put them on the wrong feet!

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KING LEO (has not moved from saying goodnight) - I hope with all my heart, that I have said goodnight and not goodbye to my daughters.

GRAND VIZIER - Fear not, My King, Prince Duncan seems a most capable young man.

LAST PRINCE - No donuts? I like the jelly kind. I pretend Iím eating giant bugs.

(VIZIER AND KING look at LAST PRINCE as if he is an idiot.)

KING LEO - I will go get rope and wrap them tightly into their beds! (turns to leave crashing into VIZIER.)

GRAND VIZIER - Your Highness...

KING LEO - Iíll stand in the doorway myself all night.

GRAND VIZIER - That may work for one night, Your Majesty, but what about tomorrow night, and all the nights after?

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OLD WOMAN - Water !!! The 10th night! I must find the King, even if I have to fight my way past that Grand Viper to see him!

COBB - I think the Kingís chamber is --

OLD WOMAN - I know where his chamber is! (starts to run off, comes back and grabs him by the shoulders) Follow them Cobb! And wedge the door so they canít lock it behind them! And be careful! You might not be as invisible as you think!
(EXITS on the run)
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JONQUIL - Iím not clumsy and I didnít step on my -- Oh! My goblet is jumping around as if under a spell!

VIOLET - (goes back and takes her goblet) Oh! Give it to me. Iíll carry it for you, though as clumsy as you are, maybe you SHOULD marry that idiot cobbler instead! (ALL EXITING)

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MUDRED - What did this littlest bandit look like?

LURK - Very homely little mongrel.
(LURK describes COBBís hair color and features insultingly.)

MUDRED - So an ugly little weasel, eh?

LURK - Oh, yeah. Except his fan club said he was the most handsome shoemaker on Earth!

MUDRED - Shoemaker! Cobb the Shoemaker has the cloak! And he has joined the bandits? That means he has weapons. We must get there first!

LURK - Not the drop chute!

MUDRED - Donít be a sissy. Youíll go first. I need something soft to land on.

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KING MUDRED -- Delightful. Now, my sons. Bring your ladies some refreshment.

(EACH BROTHER hurries to get a goblet from the table and bring it to his PRINCESS, who drinks. COBB bumps JONQUIL'S goblet so it spills and she cannot drink. She is embarrassed and pretends she did, wiping her mouth daintily.
The PRINCESSES show the dizzying effect of the love potion, then recover and each looks upon her prince with adoring eyes. BROTHERS reach into their pocket for their fake cavemen stick-on eyebrows, and rubber teeth.)


KING MUDRED - And now, from above, let in the Earthly light!

FX - Shuddering ROCK GRINDING NOISE as rocks open above.
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(COBB tries to convince JONQUIL to leave with him but she gestures that she cannot leave her sisters. KING MUDRED sees her talking to nothing and goes after COBB.
KING LEO & OLD WOMAN arrive as the song ends.
DANCING COUPLES clasp hands.)


KING MUDRED - As King of this Underworld Labyrinth, I will officiate the marriage ceremony of my sons to you fine young --.

KING LEO (running between MUDRED & the others, interrupting )- Not to my daughters!

JONQUIL (running to him) - Papa! Take us away!
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MUDRED (sneaking up and snatching COBBís cloak off) - Aha! STOP FIGHTING, my sons! Here is the sneaky little wretch who has broken up our party!

PRINCESSES - The shoemaker!

(MUDRED shoves COBB into the center of the circle of hulking angry BROTHERS who advance thumping their chests, pounding fists into their hands, snarling, furious. BIGGEST BROTHER picks up COBB by his underarms and holds him up.)

BROTHERS (furious, reaching for him) - Roarrrr!

( PRINCESSES run to KING LEO blocking him from helping COBB.
OLD LADY pushes to center of BROTHERS and shoves them back.
Downstage BROTHERS move to the side so audience can see.)


OLD LADY (shoves Monsters away and pulls COBB to the floor where he cowers, she throws back her hood so her face shows ) -
Stop! Spare this boy! I am PotScraper who fed and washed and bandaged you for many years! Spare him for me and I will stay and work for you until I die!
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VIOLET - You were just marrying us to break the spell!
PRINCESSES - Grrrrr!

OLD WOMAN - But the laziest little boy, that one, Lurk, had fallen asleep on the way down the staircase and missed the spell. That is why he has been able to go up in the daylight back and forth to do his fatherís bidding.

COBB - The pickpocket I met in the forest.

OLD WOMAN - After many years of slavery, Mudred, on one of your visits, I stole your cloak of invisibility and escaped. I gave the cloak to this fine boy Cobb in hopes that he could protect my daughters.
Now daughters, obey your father and escape with him.

PRINCESSES (running to the OLD WOMAN) - Mother!

12 VIOLET - Why didnít you come to us sooner?
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BROTHERS - She made it up! Weíre free!

JONQUIL - Father! I want to get married!

HER FAMILY - No!

JONQUIL - To Cobb! (grabs his hand) When we are a little older.

KING LEO - The Cobbler?

COBB - I do!

KING LEO - And so both of you shall!

JONQUIL - Thank you, Papa! And for my wedding gift, will you forgive them?

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To see a PERUSAL SCRIPT, please contact Jeannette Jaquish at (two six zero) 484.594six, between 7am and 10pm, Eastern Standard Time, USA,
or at http://www.theaterfunscripts.com/details.html.



MUSIC CD SONG LIST:
Sonatina ( a little to open the show)
Sonatina - ďThe Brides of HobnobbitĒ
Bright Wish - ďIs it Foolish?Ē
*Transition Music (Scene 1 to 2):
Fensterís Explanation - ďA Princess is a PrincessĒ
*Transition Music (Scene 2 to 3): eating
*Struggle Music (beginning of Scene 3)
Skye Cuyillin
Bad Ideas - ďLocked Door, Old KeyĒ
Big Fight (Circus Tent)
Set Change Music (between scene 5 & 6):
Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies
(Overnight) Melodie Victoria
Rooster Cockadoodle-doo
Set Change Music: Pop Goes the Weasel
Merry Go - ďDancing With Our Daddy-OĒ
The Path of the Goblin King
Bump in the Night
Moonlight Hall
Rock Grinding noise
Danse Macabre
Bright Wish



SCENE/PAGE
1/2-HobNobbit (3:30)
2/6-Sleepy Breakfast (6:00) 4 watchers
3/10-Old Lady in the Woods (7:30)
4/15-No Shoes/ Vizierís Idea (1:30)
5/16-Bandit Attack (2:15)
6/18-First Prince On Watch (3:45)
7/22-Hiring a New Shoemaker (2:10)
8/24-Dancing With Daddy (5:00)
9/27-Trying on Shoes, Last Prince (5:40)
10/32-Two Spotlight Scenes (3:00)
11/35 -The Underworld (15:00)
Bows TOTAL Time: A little over 1 hour, set changes not included.
10 minutes of before and after music.


SET: Stone wall castle scenery backdrop across upstage. Stays on the whole play. If possible it has a working wooden castle door upstage center or centerish toward Side A, and an open doorway, perhaps with a curtain, leading offstage side B.

In front of stone backdrop are spread enough portable trees to represent the forest.
In front of trees are the portable town buildings, Cobbís shoemaker shop, center stage.
Behind trees on Side B is the pre-set breakfast table & chairs, covered with a forest color sheet -- or the servants can carry it in and off for that scene.

Trees on Side B move on and off Side B to allow Castle Scenes on side B, for scenes 2 & 4.

After Scene 5, all trees are removed and the Princessesí Lounge furniture is set out between the two doorways: pillows and a comfortable chair with a little side table. for scenes 6, 8 & 9.

Scene 7ís shoemaker area is opposite of Princessesí Lounge. It is just a work stool and a bench with a secret hidden stash of shoes.

The whole stage is cleared during Spotlight Scene 10, and a downstage side chair and small table are set. The Underworld back walls are either invisible blacklight paint on the stone wall backdrop and the center stage is spotlit while the backdrop is kept dark with UV light only,
or new cavern wall scenery or cloth replaces or covers the stone wall backdrop.