Offered for free performances if you notify playwright, Jeannette Jaquish. Long version is available.
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Note: Do not say the words in italics or inside parentheses. They are either stage directions, or translations.
CAST
Father, or anyone
Son, or anyone
Waiter
Cook
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(Father and Son enter, led by Waiter and sit at table.)
WAITER: Here is your table.
SON: This restaurant looks nice.
FATHER: Si. Es un restaurante muy bonito.
WAITER (to FATHER): The menu.
FATHER: Thank you.
WAITER: You’re welcome. (to SON): El menu.
SON: Gracias.
WAITER: De nada. Do you need time to decide what to order?
SON: (to his father) Necesita usted mas tiempo para ordenar?
FATHER: No, I have already decided!
SON: Que va a pedir?
FATHER: Quiero la sopa especial. Esa que tiene el arroz, las cebollas y los esparragos.
SON: Rice, onions and asparagus! Mmmm! I want the soup special also!
WAITER: (taking menus) Excelente! Volvere.
SON: I’m so hungry.
FATHER: Yo también tengo hambre, Oh, mira! Aquí viene la sopa.
SON: Que bueno!!!
(WAITER returns carrying soup with thumb in FATHER’s bowl.)
FATHER: Waiter! You have your thumb in my soup!!!
WAITER: (wiping thumb on napkin) Me hablaba? Oh Gracias, Senor, por preocuparse por mí pero la sopa no esta caliente. (Exits)
FATHER: “Thank you but it’s not hot!” I don’t believe it! His dirty thumb was in my soup!
SON: Su dedo esta limpio, ahora.
FATHER: Ewwww! You eat. I’m not hungry now.
SON: (spits out first taste) Bleccchh!!
FATHER: Que pasa?
SON: There is a fly in this soup!
FATHER: Una mosca en tu sopa!!! Eso es terrible!!
(WAITER RETURNS.)
WAITER (placing bill on the table): Aqui tiene la cuenta.
SON: ESCUCHE MESERO! HAY UNA MOSCA EN MI SOPA!
WAITER: Fly in your soup??? Is that a problem? Are you a vegetarian?!
FATHER: Mira! Mira! Veo cuatro moscas más nadando en la sopa.
WAITER: Four more flies! (picks up bill) Now I have to charge you for meat soup. (EXITS)
SON: Sopa con carne!! Mesero! Yo no voy a pagar por un plato con moscas! Mesero! Mesero!
FATHER: We’re not paying! Do you hear me?
(They look determined then sigh and sit hopeless, staring at their bowls hungrily.)
SON: Yo no puedo comer esto plato con moscas.
FATHER: Do you want mine? A dirty thumb is better than flies.
(FATHER & SON look at bowls sadly.)
(Cook brings in big pot and sets on nearby empty table. EXITS)
SON: sniff sniff…. Que esto que huele tan rico?
FATHER: Yes! What is that good smell? (looks around) It's that pot of stew over there!
(FATHER & SON get up and look inside pot.)
SON: Una olla de sopa! Mmmmm. Mira como espesa y sabrosa se ve.
FATHER: Yes, it looks delicious!
SON: Yo quiero un poco de esa sopa!
FATHER: Sirvamonos un plato de esta sopa.
SON: Hurry! Before the waiter gets back! Andale!
(They scoop it into their bowls and sit down to eat.)
SON: Yum yum! Delicious?
FATHER: Si, deliciosa! Que es esto? Son chicharos?
SON: Peas? I don’t know. Corn?
FATHER: Maiz? No siento el sabor. Es camote?
SON: Sweet potato? It’s possible. Beans?
FATHER: frijoles? No siento el sabor. Es muy picante!
SON: Yes, very spicy! Very good!
FATHER: Si! Muy bueno…
SON: A pesar de las moscas y el mesero tonto, me gustaría regresar a este restaurante.
FATHER: Si! Solo para ordenar esta sopa deliciosa!
SON: Yes! But what is the name of the soup?
(COOK returns carrying mop. Looks in pot.)
FATHER: El nombre de la sopa? Hmmmm……. Sopa sabrosa! (Slurp!)
SON: Soup delight! (Slurp!)
COOK: Hey! Who spilled my mop water?? Quien volcó el agua del trapeador, esta casi vacio !
SON: (spit out soup) Mop water??!!
FATHER: (spit out soup) Agua del trapeador!!??
(SON and FATHER run off gagging. COOK shrugs and scrapes their bowls into mop bucket.)
COOK: Eddie! Tus clients se van sin pagar! Hmmmm… do any of our customers pay???
(shrug) Darn! Now I need more water. (EXITS.)
WAITER: (Enters, looks, exits) Oh, some people have no class! Oh… algunas personas no tienen clase! (Exits.)