Is your theater struggling to pay the BILL$?
These Low Cost and Free Scripts will DAZZLE your audiences. Read the excerpts and see for yourself!
What do we offer?
--Quick Delivery of Funny, Witty, Exciting, Rea$onably Priced & Free Plays
--For Children's Theater, Community & Professional Theatre, High School Drama & Little Kids Scripts
--Professional and Amateur One and Two Act Plays
--Affordable Low Budget, Low Cost, Low Price, Inexpensive or Royalty Free
--Theater Camp Scripts! Comedy! Drama! Mystery! Thrillers! Educational! Monologues!
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How to Contact the Author
Hi! I am Jeannette Jaquish [ formerly from Yuma and Tucson, Arizona, now in Fort Wayne, Indiana ]. I write funny creative scripts with lots of action and great lines for every actor. My plays for kids are especially easy to memorize, with cues in the previous line and catchy wording. I have directed productions of all my scripts - they are stage tested. At this website you can print off free scripts and scenes, or order other scripts that are cheaper and wittier, funnier and more exciting than others on the market.
Jeannette Jaquish, playwright
HOW THIS WEBSITE WORKS:
1. Scroll down the script list. Click on "Excerpts". Contact the author if you have questions.
2. Click on "Order Me", follow the instructions, choose "Mail a check" or "PayPal" to pay.
3. PayPal will ask your credit card info and process your order.
4. Within 8 hours or the next morning by 9am EST I will email you your script. Telephone me to get it sooner.
It's a GOOD Life, by Jerome Bixby, famous science fiction author
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz <-- Click for Excerpts!
Teach children to speak up!
Dissolve the fear of public speaking by getting them onstage.
This world needs brave people who will not be quiet when truth needs to be said.
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When they took the 4th Amendment, I was quiet because I didn't deal drugs.
When they took the 6th Amendment, I was quiet because I am innocent.
When they took the 2nd Amendment, I was quiet because I don't own a gun.
Now they have taken the 1st Amendment, and I can only be quiet. -- Lyle Myhr
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TWO VERSIONS OF THE "FROG PRINCE":
The Frog Prince and the Princess Brat <--Click for excerpts!
A fractured fairy tale children's theater script!
PLUS Music CD!
or
SIMPLIFIED Frog Prince and the Princess Brats, JR
both theater scripts adapted for stage by Jeannette Jaquish
(What's a few warts?)
VERSION #1: The Frog Prince and the Princess Brat
Actors: 6 to 14 depending on short, medium or long version.
LENGTH: 20, 50 or 75 minutes. 4, 5 or 7 scenes. Medium tech complexity.
COST: 1st performance: $20;
additional performances: $10 each;
or 1 year : $60.
Music CD: $23, plus $3 copies, shipping to U.S.A. included.
Order Me!
The kids LOVED the scripts!! The only change we see we may need is that the Frog will be played by an actor in costume except scenes where the puppet is removed from the puppeteer and held by the actors..."
-------Diana Oswald, Event Coordinator www.OnceinaLifetimeEvents.biz
SUMMARY
In this Frog Prince script, a bratty princess makes a false promise to an obnoxious frog, befuddling her jealous royal dog, infuriating the imperious Queen and vexing the sarcastic butler and two snotty visiting princesses, finally charming a grinning boy prince. This script is fast moving, creative, surprising and funny, funny, funny! AND it is in rhyme for easier memorization and lots of charm!
The longest version has a Villain, some bumbling but good natured Kidnappers, a Revolution sub-plot, and an exciting ending.
Three Lengths:
20 min.: Basic story
35 min.: add visit by Foreign Princesses
50 min.: add lesson with the Tutor
75 min.: Exciting Kidnapping and Revolution subplot with 3 Kidnappers and "The Raven"
EXCERPTS:
PRINCESS CONCEITA: A prince?? Not likely, talking like that. If you were ever a human you held out a beggar's hat."
FROG: "I teased a frail old woman, begging on the road. I kicked her cane to make her fall and Poof!--I was a toad."
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QUEEN: So polish the armor, and the gargoyles need clothes!
The peasants are revolting, or so I'm told by my nose.
And the moat monster needs grooming - He's got bones stuck in his teeth!
Put him on a vegetarian diet. We're using too much beef!
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CONCEITA: Jeffers! Take this cuddly frog for me. Love him and squeeze him until day number 3.
BUTER: Oh, no, Gentle Princess, of whom the angels sing,
The Good and Virtuous Queen would put my arm in a sling,
Oh, curse my mouth, what blasphemy! Not my one arm but both!
If she found that I assisted you in the breaking of your oath!
Click for excerpts.
VERSION #2: (simplified)
The Frog Prince and the Princess Brats, JR <-- Click for Excerpts!
an easy children's fairy tale play by Jeannette Jaquish
No songs, but you could add some.
-- Good for camp or younger actors or amateur productions.
COST: $10 first performance, $5 additional, or $30/year.
Order Me!
This simplified script has THREE PRINCESSES (so less crying after auditions), three frogs, a Queen, Narrator, three Townsfolk and three Servants and is much simpler technically than the regular script. The Narrator can prompt actors who have forgotten a line, and make it sound like it is part of the narration. Plus it is in rhyme which makes it easier to memorize. This simple script follows the basic fairy tale but has lots of funny exchanges between the Princesses and their mother the Queen and the obnoxious Frogs. Also some long-suffering servants and snoopy Townsfolk. Everyone has good lines, but only the Princesses really have moderately difficult parts, and two of the frogs have hardly any lines. Parts run from easy to medium-difficult to suit a mixed-ability cast.
LENGTH: 15-20 minutes
CAST: 14 or 15 actors, age 7 and up.
EXCERPT:
FROG: Hmmmm.. Three sunken toys.
Guess I'll be needing some help from the boys. (Dives into pond with a splash)
POUTELLA: Where'd he go?
CONCEITA & SARCASTICA: I don't know.
(THREE FROGS pop up.)
FROG: I brought 2 of my pals. Here's Flybreath.
FLYBREATH: Croak!
FROG: and Mudbrain.
MUDBREATH: Croak!
PRINCESSES: Yuck!
FROG: Sames to you, I'm sure! So, my ladies, me and the boys could lend you a hand...
POUTELLA: Fetch my doll ! That's a command.
FROG: Keep your crown on Princess. How about a deal instead?
CONCEITA : Fetch my ball or I'll chop off your head!Click for excerpts.
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Harry Potter and the Obnoxious Voice - The Parody! <--Click for excerpts!
a mystery spoof theater script by J.R. Jaquish
based on the Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling
COST: 1st performance: $30; additional performances: $10 each; or 1 year: $70.
Music CD: $23 - Great licensed music -- NOT the movie soundtrack
Order Me!
Contact the Author.
"We performed the show and it was a HIT! The kids had a ball and the audience roared!
The show was very easy to stage and Ms. Jaquish was very flexible in helping us fit the script to our children's theater's needs."
-- Neva Garrett, Holly Theatre in Dahlonega, Georgia - hollytheater.com
---SUMMARY
Harry is once again locked in his room where Dobby & an inebriated Winky come to him with a warning to save not his life but at least his career. At Hogwarts things are weirder than ever, Snape is furious at Ron's spilled potion, Hagrid doesn't think Harry's "hearing voices" thing is funny, Dumbledore has lost his meal ticket, Luna dissects the brown bag lunch, Malfoy has a fancy-schmancy new "mission", time is twisting, and the house elves battle Peeves and whisper about "The Master".
This script is excellent for Harry Potter events such as movie & book anniversaries, Halloween parties and Harry Potter themed events.
TECH: Medium-simple. Furniture move set changes. One sound effect. Some crucial blackout and light changes. Long version has a big fake "brick" rising on fishing line.
Tech Notes
CAST: 12 to 15 actors plus extras if you got 'em.
CHARACTERS: Harry, Ron, Hermione, Dobbie, Winky, Hagrid, Snape (altered by a potion to be a female or shrunk or something funny), Draco Malfoy,Luna Lovegood, Moaning Myrtle, Kitchen House Elves, J.K. Rowling, a Dementor, extra students, plus optional characters: Time Police, Future Potter, Little Hermione, Prof. McGonagal.
LENGTH: short version: 32 minutes, medium version: 45 minutes, long version: 60+ minutes - (You get all versions)
EXCERPT:
DUMBLEDORE - (singing) Dumbledore, Dumbledore, Dumble Dumble Dumble-dore! Good day, Draco, I'll have a peppermint latte and a fresh ram's bladder stuffed with curded cheese and drizzled with Belgian chocolate.
DRACO MALFOY - You'll pay for that, Dumbledore! $7 sickles and 3 knuts!
HERMIONE - What's wrong, Harry? Has Dumbledore changed as well?
(HARRY watches DUMBLEDORE searching his robe pockets, hat, then inside his shoes, then lifting his robe to search his boxer shorts, sticking his hand down the leg and startling himself when it comes out the other end.)
DUMBLEDORE - Oh, dear, I do believe I've misplaced my meal ticket!
MALFOY - No meal ticket - No meal!
HARRY No, Dumbledore's the same as ever.
RON (taking his first bite of sandwich) Yuck! Harry's right! Things have changed!
HERMIONE What! What's changed?
RON This is surplus government cheese!
HERMIONE Oh, Ron. That's not important!
RON I can't get it off my molars! Three sickles for a government cheese sandwich. Bloody hell!
Click for Excerpts.
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If you find BROKEN LINKS
or problems with this website, or have a a question,
please Contact Me!~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~
FREE SCENE BOOKS
In three age groups:
--Age 6 to 8
--Age 8 to 13
--Age 13 and older.
Kids love to read scenes and put on little performances.
Great for teachers, camp leaders and home schoolers!
No charge for the download, for performing, for copying or distributing.
<--Click on image to get the PDF files FREE.
OR Order for Christmas or Birthday!
A Talking Frogs CD Collection makes a GREAT Gift!!
For teachers, church activity leaders, scoutmasters, homeschoolers, drama teachers and parents.
ORDER All 3 "Talking Frogs" Scene Books
on pdf files on one CD ready to print out.
PRICE: $10 each CD in a case; add $3 for gift-wrapped with a note.
POSTAGE to the US included.
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an absurd thriller by Jeannette Jaquish
COST: 1st performance: $20;
Additional performances: $10 each;
or 1 year : $60.
Order Me!
(Four squabbling urchins escape a mad doctor, a Julia Child / Frankenstein monster, a sickly lab rat and ravenous zombies. Educational, witty and absurd with lots of action.)
CAST: 2 boys, 2 girls, 7 adults or big kids (or 4 if Dr. F, Eyegore & Misty also play zombies). In a pinch, cast can be all female with one male (burly Eyegore), or all male with one female (Petunia)
LENGTH: 55 minutes. 5 scenes. Medium tech complexity. At least a 3 1/2 foot high platform for graveyard scene.
FREE: Scene 1
QUOTES: "Those little wretches ruined my best spoons prying the bars of their cages!" -- Eyegore
"They may be mindless, flesh-eating zombies, but they are still your elders." -- Old Man Wellard
Click for excerpts.
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Auditioning a Ghost <--Click here for first scene and excerpts!
(from the Sir Arthur Conan Doyle story, "Selecting a Ghost")
a ghostly thriller mystery adapted for stage by Jeannette Jaquish
Makes a great dinner theater mystery script!
(Be careful what you wish for. Hauntings are forever.)
COST: 1st performance: $30;
additional performances: $10 each;
or 1 year : $70.
Order Me!
ACTORS: 10, at least 3 females, at least 3 males
LENGTH: 1 hour 15 minutes +. Two scene changes (just move furniture). Medium tech complexity.
Arthur Conan Doyle wrote this in his earlier years, before his Sherlock Holmes series eclipsed his other excellent works. It has an ingenious situation as a husband/father seeks to give his wife/daughter the haunting she wants by hiring a "fake" gypsy medium. A stiff-upper-lipped English butler and plotting Cook enhance a devious plot with many unexpected twists.
You receive two variations, one with wife as lead, one with daughter as lead.
FREE: Scene 1
QUOTES: "I'm ashamed to host even a tea party with no story to tell. A real castle should have a ghost." -- Gladys, spoiled daughter or wife.
"And I thought we plunked your inheritance in to this drafty old castle for the prestige of a wall-size fireplace over which to hang our mail order coat of arms. You should have told me you wanted a ghost. We could have bought a nice RV and parked it over a few plots in the cemetery." -- Monty, the father
More excerpts.
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Don't Look in the Lake <-- Click for Excerpts
a comedy thriller by Jeannette Jaquish
COST: $10 first performance, $5 additional, or $30/year.
Order Me!
A spooky, dangerous, little gem of life at camp. Incredibly fun and not too hard to perform. Audiences roar with laughter.
Lousy food, creepy counselors, dead possum art projects, electric fences and hoeing the tobacco fields; and just when the week is almost over, the campfire stories start coming true.
The kids LOVED the scripts!!"
-------Diana Oswald, Event Coordinator www.OnceinaLifetimeEvents.biz
LENGTH:
- Short version: 7 or 8 characters: about 20 minutes.
- Long version: 11 characters: about 24 minutes
CAST: Short Version: 7 or 8 = 2 boys, 2 or 3 girls, 1 creepy janitor, 2 counselors.
-----Long Version: 11 = 3 boys, 5 girls, 1 janitor, 2 counselors.
PROPS: 2 clipboards, bin of recyclables, fake campfire, 2 balloons, broom and mop, backpacks, suitcases. Table & 4 or 7 chairs.
TECH: Quick but simple set changes. Need lighting for night scene.
THEMES: abusive counselors, dangerous situations, running away, the living dead, relentless humor, sarcastic kids vs the cheerful kids.
EXCERPT
RICKY - I tried using the pay phone to call home. It wants 40 Canadian quarters!
PENNY - I saw a trash can full of campers' letters to home. I read some of them. Do you know that last week they had to dissect a possum for arts and crafts?
ANDREW - That sounds very educational!
RICKY - We've got to escape. (to Penny) Do you want to go with me?
PENNY - We could sneak out after lights out!
ANDREW - Are you out of your mind? Didn't you hear the story about Drowned Debbie? She'll crawl out of the lake and drag you back in!
Click for excerpts.
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Advice for New Directors and Directing Children
You Don't Bring Me Flowers Anymore
or
Marriage Counseling? Over My Dead Body!!! <--Click here for Excerpts!
a psychoanalysis spoof by Jeannette Jaquish
COST: $10 first performance,
$5 additional,
or $30/year.
Order Me!
DESCRIPTION: Neither the therapist or the at-her-wits-end-wife realize that the husband's recent crude, grabby and drooling behavior is because he has been bitten on a camping trip and turned into a zombie.
I have seen audience members laugh until they cried as the husband flops and lurches around the stage trying to get his teeth on his wife's head, as the wife shoves him away using her chair and feet, and the therapist explaining everything as psychoanalytical mumbo-jumbo. Very funny twist ending using audience shills.
Slightly PG, but could be edited to remove the line.
CAST: 2 couples and the therapist: male or female.
TECH NEEDS: 3 sturdy chairs, therapist can have a cheat sheet on a clipboard
LENGTH: about 10 minutes
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EXCERPT:
WIFE: Can we talk about my husband's increasingly agressive behavior? Like last week, when we were in K-mart, he tried to get my whole scalp in his head! I had to hit him with a can of paint to make him stop. And then I had slobber all over my hair. I had to go to the toilet paper aisle and open a roll of paper towels to wipe off my head. People were looking!
THERAPIST: Ralph, your public display of affection is embarrassing your wife. Can you hear the humiliation in her voice?
RALPH: I sorry...
WIFE (sarcastically): Oh. More words. Big improvement.
THERAPIST: Yes, it is a big improvement. Thank you, Stephanie. Even a counselor appreciates a compliment now and then.
Click for excerpts.
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Lost Hearts, by M. R. James <--Click here for Excerpts!
a classic ghost story by a famous author adapted for stage by Jeannette Jaquish
COST: $10 first performance,
$5 additional,
or $30/year.
Order Me!
DESCRIPTION: A ghost story by M.R. James, a respected author of the 1800's, whose well written suspense stories were very popular.
In "Lost Hearts", an orphan, Stephen, is unexpectedly sent for by his elderly, rich, eccentric cousin who is unusually interested in his age, and is an expert on ancient religions' teachings on immortality. Stephen hears of two other orphans taken in who disappeared one night leaving behind shoes or favorite toys. He is visited by two young murdered ghosts. As Mr. Abney arranges for Stephen to meet him secretly after hours on the vernal equinox, an evil plot is revealed. Clues to decipher. Happy ending.
CAST: Stephen, Mrs. Bunch, Mr. Parkes, Mr. Abney & child ghosts: Jevanny & Phoebe.
LENGTH: About 55 minutes.
TECH NEEDS: furniture re-arranging set changes, need a fake fireplace, chairs, table, desk, bed with bedding, and the ability to run fishing line through a pulley in the ceiling for ghostly special effects.
EXCERPT:
STEPHEN (stands) It was the girl I saw in my dream. She was still standing like this (arms crossed over heart) and a boy, very skinny; his hands were up like this. And ... he had a hole here, over his heart. He scared me.
MR ABNEY Ah, sad lost souls. They'll wander on and find a resting place somewhere else, I expect.
STEPHEN How do you suppose they died? How did the boy get the hole in his heart?
MR ABNEY No idea.
STEPHEN Aren't you going to tell me to not tell Mrs. Bunch?
MR ABNEY (soft chuckle) I'll leave that up to you, my boy. Stephen, I want to tell you that I have thoroughly enjoyed your stay here. You have been a bright, cheerful, engaging companion --
STEPHEN Are you sending me away???
MR ABNEY No, no, of course not.
STEPHEN You said I "have been".
MR ABNEY And so you have been and so you will be. I propose a toast! (THEY BOTH stand. MR ABNEY hands STEPHEN a champagne glass of liquid and takes the other for himself) Don't worry, it's not alcoholic. To you Stephen! And our future together!
STEPHEN To you Mr. Abney! May you live forever!
(MR ABNEY bursts out laughing. They click glasses and drink. Mr. Abney now observes Stephen closely.)
STEPHEN What's so funny, Mr. Abney? ( pause) Sir?
(Mr. Abney does not answer but continues to look. Stephen is puzzled by his lack of answer and then the sedative takes effect. His face slackens and his knees buckle. Mr. Abney reaches forward and smoothly plucks the glass from Stephen�s hand before it spills. STEPHEN crumples to the floor. )
More excerpts.
Do not fear! It has a Happy Ending!
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Alice in Wonderland, by Lewis Carroll <-- Click here for excerpts!
Classic story theater script adapted for stage by Jeannette Jaquish
LINK: Other Theaters' Performances of this Alice script.
COST: 1st performance: $30; Additional performances: $15 each; $90 for a year of unlimited performances.
MUSIC CD: $23 plus $2 for duplicates, postage paid.
Add $3 for postage outside of USA.
Tech Drawing for Alice stuck in the White Rabbit's House. This Alice in Wonderland script includes full Tech Notes.
See the Song List.
Order Me!
"I recently ordered Alice in Wonderland from you and I would like to say it's fantastic and going great. As this was the first thing I have ever directed, I was surprised by how easy the script made it for me. I'm glad to hear that I can film it."ACTORS:23 to 40 all ages.
--- Abi Harris, performance March 2011, Trinity Theatre, Cowes, Isle of Wight, EnglandClick to read the glowing theater review in the Isle of Wight County Press!
LENGTH: 2 hours but never boring.
TECH: Medium complexity. Simple sets. Falling down the Rabbit Hole & Hallway of Doors and Pool of Tears involve some manipulation.
Alice grows until her head, arms and legs stick out
the chimney and windows of the White Rabbit's House in this photo
from the Firehouse Theater in Fort Wayne Indiana:
This is the best stage adaptation of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland that you are going to find.
Main stage scenes alternate with shorter scenes in front of the closed curtain to allow set changes behind curtain.
Ingenious low tech special effects allow Alice to grow and shrink.
Alice is played by three actresses: small, medium and tall (we used age 7, 11 & 16 for example) with a size-changing experience between each. At a performance directed by the author, a young child in the audience upon seeing all three Alices onstage for the first time during bows, was overheard saying, "Look, Mom, there's three of them!"
Each actor can play multiple parts, except the Alices and the White Rabbit, making your cast size flexible.
Costumes Available for low rental fee - contact author with your needs.
Photos of Adams College in Colorado's production of this script
This script FOLLOWS LEWIS CARROLL'S STORY!
It is NOT a jam-packed song & dance extravaganza with every character from the whole play dancing to modern songs shoe-horned into the script. The only songs are those in the original, sung by the Mad Hatter, Duchess and Mock Turtle & Gryphon, and the music CD includes them plus mood music for scene changes. You maay add more song and dance if you like.
STORY SUMMARY: Alice throws a tantrum with her strict tutor over memorizing the preachy poems children were required of as part of their moral upbringing in the 1800's when the story was written -- the same poems that Lewis Carroll lampoons later in the story.
She runs off and falls down the Rabbit Hole, grows and shrinks in the Hallway of Doors, falls in her own Pool of Tears, meets the ill-tempered Mouse, panicky wet creatures and the Pompous Dodo while the newly invented blind Mole and creepy Horsefly characters add humor.
She grows too big for the White Rabbit's House, kicks Bill the Lizard out the chimney, extracts some information from the aloof Caterpillar and recites "You are Old Father William" as it is acted out.
At the Duchess's house she encounters pepper, flying kitchen objects and a flung crying baby whom she rescues only to have him turn into a little pig that runs through the audience.
She gets direction from the Cheshire Cat, matches wits with the wacky Mad Hatter snobby March Hare and a groggy Dormouse. She witnesses an absurd table dance and impertinent banter, and storms off insulted.
In an easy special effect she finds the key, eats mushroom and shrinks, and finally can slip through the little door to the beautiful garden. She rescues the guards painting the roses red, plays croquet with a flamingo and escapes a mass beheading, hears the Mock Turtle's sad story, stands up for the Knave at a sham trial and starts a revolution against tyranny!
Alice begins the play as an impulsive, self-pitying, stubborn young girl, but finishes it as a witty, brave, thoughtful young lady.
The author has selected the best scenes from the book, stayed true to their mood and intellectual humor, worked and reworked them so they are stageable, and added lots of witty humor, extra characters and moments to give every actor good lines and time in the spotlight.
PHOTOS & Show Announcement on the Columbus School for Girls website:
"Alice in Wonderland is wildly popular because Carroll wrote a logical plot that is framed in nonsense and splattered with symbolism which becomes a celebration of language and childhood imagination. It reminds all of us to believe in the extraordinary as well as in our own dreams. The adaptation by Jaquish has stayed true to the characters, plot, mood, and intellectual humor of the book. " Click for excerpts!
The Monkey's Paw, by W. W. Jacobs <-- Click for script!
Halloween, Horror and Mystery Theater Scripts<--Click here!
Pippsi Longknickers <--Click here for excerpts and free Tea Party scene!
High School Soap <--Click for excerpt
by Ruth Tyndall Baker
Order this script!
"High School SOAP is a wholesome portrait of high school kids who are in and out of love, in and out of situations which reflect the fun drama that goes on continuously in the halls."
CAST
10 females: age teen to adult, 3 males: 1 teen, 2 adult, Extras: male or female teens.
ROYALTIES
$25 per performance
Al Capone & Me <--Click for excerpt
a 2 act play by Ruth Tyndall Baker
Order this script!
"Millie learns to handle even Al Capone amid the roaring twenties’ hope and despair, G-men and gangsters, radio, talkies and print. This love story about the economic and family struggles of Millie and Max is presented as a 1920’s film while the concurrent story of Al Capone interweaves the societal fabric of the 20’s."
CAST
7 males age 20 to 40, 6 females age 20 to 40, 1 female age 60 or older.
ROYALTIES
$60 per performance up to the 4th show, $30 per show from the 5th to the 8th, $390 for 2 months of shows.
Inside the 3-0-9 <--Click for excerpt
by Ruth Tyndall Baker
Order this script!
"Inside the 3-0-9" deals with the problems Sherry faces due to her weight. The cruel wounds from her childhood linger, causing her to disbelieve it when Troy wants to take her out for a bowl of Texas Chili. In the end, she realizes that Troy loves her for herself, the person inside the 309 pounds."
CAST
2 females, 2 males, 2 male or female, one male voice.
ROYALTIES
$10- one performace, $15- two performances, $20 -one month or a 31 consecutive day period of performances.
LENGTH
About 15 min.
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or
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Who Framed Lucky the Leprechaun?<--Click for excerpts!
an absurd mystery script by Jeannette Jaquish
A Great St. Patrick's Day Theater Script!
Or for anytime you want something absurd with great characters.
COST: $10 per performance; or 1 year: $40. Order Me!
CAST 9 to 28 actors. Need 3 to 7 kids and at least 6 to 21 teens or adults, depending on if actors play one part or multiple parts.
LENGTH: about 55 minutes.
TECH: Easy-medium. Alternates scenes onstage and in front of closed curtain or in the audience to allow fast shoving around of chairs and card tables onstage. Carry on props: camcorder, bucket, Lucky. Basic lighting throughout. No special lighting.
COSTUMES & PROPS: 1 big and 3 small leprechaun costumes. A cop and detective. Toy machine guns. Lucky Charm and Trix cereal boxes. A working vacuum cleaner. Two Camcorders, working or not.
SYNOPSIS: Lucky the Leprechaun's growth spurt (he's a gawky 6 foot tall!) ruins the studio shoot and ends his career as Lucky Charms' mascot. Depressed, he wallows in a bowl of his favorite cereal but soon he has to explain what went out his window to the cops. The Trix Rabbit cannot deny his secret longing or curb his compulsion. Lucky calls Dr. Laura for advice and she lets him have it before someone pops him into a pillowcase and kidnaps him. In the secret Lucky Charms Marshmallow Mines, Lucky is pummeled and accused of luring leprechauns into a life of slavery. CNN Congressional Hearings hear disturbing testimony from Animal Rights Liberators about the contents of a test tube, and and a leprechaun dies on live TV. What crackerjack newsgathering organization will get the scoop on who framed Lucky the Leprechaun and infected the Trix Rabbit? Hint: it won't be NBC!
EDGY MYSTERY: This show has lots of hilarious characters, action, and ridiculous situations around a logical mystery which is revealed in the climactic ending.
The script is slightly PG with bits about test tube birth, a misunderstanding about a girl named Trixie, a leprechaun trying to get drunk on Strawberry Quik, a cop wanting to do a "search", and speculation about a Leprechaun using lots of clover, but it is all tastefully done, and little kids won't understand those parts anyway. This a great show for mixed ages.
EXCERPTS
LUCKY: Ralph! Ralph, me boy! Show some charity to the wee ones. Hello me little lads and lassie. You're a fine lookin' bunch. And sure you'll be wantin' an autograph to show your friends back home?
KID 2 - Look, Look who it is!
KID 3 - It's Lucky. It's Lucky! He's old! He's old, and big! (EXIT screaming)
Later... DIRECTOR - I'm sorry you found out like this Lucky. The Big Guy, he thinks you're getting a bit old for this role, I mean how old are you? 300?
LUCKY - I'm just 298!
DIRECTOR - And it appears you've had a growth spurt lately. We just can't get actors any bigger to play the children without borrowing from the NBA or Ripley's Believe it or Not. More Excerpts!
Strange Time at the Science Fair<-- Click for Excerpts
a science themed play script by Tom & Zephyr Jaquish
COST: $10 first performance, $5 additional, or $30/year.
Order Me!
The little science nerd says his invention can control time but while the judge stares skeptically at the unchanging pendulum the events transpiring behind them swing hilariously from high speed to slow motion. Using three real science fair projects and the time control project you can present an educational, absurd and very very funny little show.
LENGTH: About 18 minutes.
CAST: 4 kids, 1 adult judge, 1 teen or adult photographer
PROPS: 3 real science fair projects, 1 fake project with all printed signs provided in the script- you paste them on a science fair board, pendulum, some kind of device to be the time controller, a tone or audio FX generator - even a toy keyboard with sound effects will work, card tables for the projects. Award ribbons or trophies.
TECH: A device that generates a high and low tone.
EXCERPTS:
(NICK is demonstrating his Time Control device to Dr. Bergers. The other kids and the photographer are behind them.)
DR BERGERS - Nothing happened. The period of the pendulum swing remained constant.
NICK - Hmmm. I'll turn it to slow motion.
DR BERGERS - OK, let me get a fix here. (Starts pendulum, looks at watch.) OK, go!
NICK - We start at normal speed (dial tone down) Now it's slow.
(Kids & Photographer in the background SLOW DOWN.)
PENELOPE - Looook ! it's Albeert Einsteiiiin....
(all start slowly running to side front corner of audience)
DENTIN - Myyyy Heerooo!
WALLY - Hey Einstein???? Caaaan I haaaave youuur Autoooograaaph?
(They crash into each other at edge of stage as first one stops unexpectedly. Big Pileup. Get up. Head back.)
DENTIN - Oh, noooo. It was just the jaaaanitor.
PENELOPE Well, he loooked like Albert Eiiiinsteiiiin...
NICK - And back to normal speed. (tone to normal)
(Background people up to NORMAL SPEED.)
DR BERGERS - I'm sorry, I didn't see any change. It was the same both times.
More excerpts.
Contact the Author
--> CLICK HERE <--
to Order Any Script!
~ Great Vacation & Summer Theater Camp Scripts ~
Easy lines, Easy tech, a variety of easy to medium tricky parts, 6 to 25 minutes.
Find these scripts below, or click here.
--Frog Prince and the Princess Brats, JR, for 14 or 15 actors, age 7 and up.
--Don't Look in the Lake, 7 or 8 actors, age 8 and up.
--Fairy Tales on the Mars Frontier, 11 to 35 actors, age 7 and up.
--Hansel & Gretel and the Creepy Woods, 15 to 20 actors, age 6 and up.
--That's How I Remember It, 12 or more boys and girls, age 6 and up.
--The Spoiled Baloney Man, 8 actors including a Frog puppet, age 7 and up.
--Restaurante del Diablo (mixing English & Spanish) 4 or more actors
--Lots of Easy Skits
Snafu in Santa's Workshop <--Click for excerpts!
Fairy Tales on the Mars Frontier <--Click here!
The Spoiled Baloney Man <--Click here!
If Shakespeare had Written the Theory of Relativity <--Click for script!
Shakespeare's classic lines adapted into a swashbuckling debate on relativity.
Kiss the Brown Bunny<--Click here!
The Monkey's Paw, by W. W. Jacobs <-- Click for script!
Restaurante Del Diablo" <--Click here!
Hansel & Gretel and the Creepy Woods <--Click here!
"Your Hansel and Gretel and the Creepy Woods script is very funny, and well written - I had a difficult time finding appropriate material for our students, who are 4th and 5th graders. The lines are short and easy to memorize, and yet very entertaining. Thank you for sharing your talent! "
------Cathy Duyck, Battle Creek, Michigan, St. Joseph Elementary Drama Club coordinator, performing March 28 & 30, 2011
-- LITTLE ORPHANT ANNIE <--Click for script
THE WAY I REMEMBER IT <--Click for script,
Short Skits & Easy Plays for Kids <--Click for skits!
Funny Songs to Perform <--Click here!
HUNDREDS of FREE Scripts, Radio Plays, TV scripts, Puppet Plays and Songs by OTHER AUTHORS <--Click here!A Muggle's Snide Observation
by Jeannette Jaquish
Harry Potter is magical soap opera,
Hormonal teens spouting abracadabra;
But magic makes it too easy,
And Rowling would certainly get queasy,
Composing a duel 'twixt a shotgun and avada kedavra;
